40 funny visit quotes - Wordgag

There are TV shows that only exist on the screens of girls’ houses you go to one time and never again.

May 29, 2026

Can’t believe my neighbor rang my doorbell at 3 a.m. last night… Luckily, I was still up playing the drums.

May 29, 2026

Years of personal growth can be unraveled in 2 days at your parents’ house.

May 29, 2026

It actually is crazy how many people I know would benefit from being visited by three ghosts.

May 29, 2026

I don’t need a maid. I just need someone to tell me once a week that they’re coming to visit, and I’ll panic-clean my entire house in less than an hour.

May 29, 2026

Just found out my 84-year-old neighbour is on his own tomorrow, so I’ve just been over to collect his spare chairs to borrow.

May 29, 2026

When I’m feeling old, I like to visit my parents so they can push all my buttons until I lose my shit and just like that, I’m 16 again.

May 29, 2026

Santa has the right idea: only visit people once a year, eat a snack, leave early.

May 29, 2026

Texting is so boring. Just show up to my door with roses.

May 28, 2026

Can I come over and look at your Hot Wheels collection?

May 28, 2026

I was googling the best time to visit Italy. It is when you have money.

May 28, 2026

Walking around the art museum and verbally saying, “Banger,” after inspecting a painting.

May 28, 2026

Asking my dentist a question, but sticking my fingers in his mouth before he replies.

May 27, 2026

From now on, I’m gonna tell guests that I made my house especially messy just for their visit. It was hard, but I got it done.

May 27, 2026

I’m scared to go to an art museum, because what if they decide to keep me?

May 26, 2026

I don’t need the audio tour at the museum, I have my teen to provide critical commentary the entire time.

May 25, 2026

I was googling about the best time to visit the Maldives. It’s when you have money.

May 25, 2026

Can I come over and shed hair everywhere?

May 25, 2026

The best time to visit Japan is when you have money!

May 25, 2026

Wanna come over and see my mis-matched sock collection?

May 25, 2026

I came, I saw, I was disappointed, so I left.

May 24, 2026

My dentist said my teeth were stained and asked if I smoke or drink coffee? I said, “I drink it.”

May 24, 2026

My dental hygienist is probably thinking, I bet i could braid this guys nose hair.

May 24, 2026

I came, I saw, I took a selfie as proof that I came and saw.

May 24, 2026

Aliens traveled millions of light years to get here to visit New Jersey.

May 24, 2026

Don’t flirt with me. I’ll show up at your house and start eating all your snacks.

May 24, 2026

What’s wrong with the people who come to visit on Sundays? Don’t they have a couch?

May 23, 2026

My dentist plays country music, so it’s like a double torture.

May 22, 2026

Maybe aliens don’t visit us because they’re all women and they want us to make the first move.

May 22, 2026

I cannot definitively say, even after all I’ve seen, that I would not visit Jurassic Park.

May 22, 2026

I visited my doctor today. He told me my sugar was too high. So I came home and moved it to a lower shelf.

May 21, 2026

Please no requests for a threesome. If I want to disappoint two people at the same time, I’ll visit my parents.

May 21, 2026

Playdates were invented to force parents into cleaning their home.

May 21, 2026

Everyone hates on the dentist but at least they don’t try to weigh you.

May 21, 2026

Grandmas be like: Imma stay for a few days and reset your children back to factory settings.

May 21, 2026

I always have a cheap bottle of wine in the house in case any family visit.

May 20, 2026

I’m putting free wifi on my gravestone, so people will come visit me.

May 20, 2026

You know you’re mature when you go to the dentist and you are no longer afraid of pain, but of how much it costs.

May 20, 2026

I wish I lived in a sitcom, and my friends just barged into my apartment uninvited.

May 20, 2026

On the next episode of Hoarders, they visit my subconscious.

May 19, 2026