Trending Funny Quotes šŸ‘‡

  • My favorite voicemails are those where the person doesn’t leave one.
  • People ask you, ā€œare you crazyā€, and then get scared when you answer, ā€œyesā€.
  • I have more photos of food on my phone than I do of my children.
  • My friend thinks he’s smart. He said onions are the only food that makes him cry. So I threw a coconut at his face.
  • Back in the good old days, we didn’t have to trim our toenails, they just got wore down naturally from running from dinosaurs.
  • My hair would never allow me to commit a crime. I really do leave my DNA everywhere.