Trending Funny Quotes 👇

  • You don’t scare me. You’re not the evil eye I get from my dog when I make him get up from the couch so I can lay down.
  • I don’t hide from my problems, I just ignore them until they lose interest.
  • If only guys would moan in bed like they do in the gym…
  • Starting conversations with short people by saying “back when I was your height…”
  • The incontinent optimist sees the bladder as half empty.
  • A police lineup, but you have to recognize your dad’s sneeze.