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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇿🇦 has copied:

You’ll be watching a series, and they’ll just randomly start playing the best song you’ve ever heard in your life.

Someone from 🇲🇭 has downloaded:

Men used to go to war, now they drinking matcha.

Someone from 🇸🇰 has bookmarked:

Fall fashion: where we all transform into stylish, toasty marshmallows!

Someone from 🇰🇿 has bookmarked:

If I climbed all the way to the top of Mount Everest and looked up, then I’d finally see the top of our family’s weekly laundry pile.

Someone from 🇦🇫 has copied:

Airport security asked me if I’ve seen anything unusual. I just paid $18 for a coke & a sandwich. Let’s start with that.

Someone from 🇺🇸 has shared:

One minute you’re young and fun and the next, you need a tow out of a beanbag chair.

Someone from 🇩🇿 has viewed:

Ironically, the Internet was invented to save time.

Someone from 🇱🇦 has bookmarked:

“Your password is too weak!” Just wait until you see my impulse control.

Someone from 🇸🇲 has viewed:

Arkansas is just Kansas for pirates.

Someone from 🇪🇪 has bookmarked:

My company promotes diversity. We’d never hire twins.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

96 this month

Funny Quotes Total

14,690

Funny Quotes Topics

16,895

Funny Quotes Images

14,690

Dec 1, 2025

3,737

Social Media Log 💫

Broadcasted on YouTube:

The worst part about waking up is all the remembering.

Making waves on Facebook:

Your honor, if it pleases the court, here’s Wonderwall.

Freshly posted on WhatsApp:

They say an apple a day keeps a doctor away. But what do I need to eat to keep everyone away?

Trending via Slack:

At my funeral, take the bouquet off my casket and throw it in the crowd to see who next.

Trending via X:

Dropped my skinny boyfriend between the bed and the wall like a vape or a TV remote.

Broadcasted on WeChat:

Are French bulldogs actually French? They seem kinda Puerto Rican.

Spreading quickly via YouTube:

Daylight savings is not enough. You need to be daylight investing.

Broadcasted on Pinterest:

If you are sad, just sing and you will realize that your voice is worse than your problem.

Spotted on Discord:

I want a restraining order on everyone who doesn’t wear deodorant.

Spotted on Telegram:

How about hold me as tight as you’re holding onto that grudge?

Sometimes the universe puts you in the same situations again to see if you’re still an idiot.

4 weeks ago

Sometimes the universe puts you in the same situations again to see if you’re still an idiot.

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Commentary:
Oh, the universe pulling a classic "let's see if you've learned anything" move! 🌌😂 It's like a cosmic replay button reminding us to level up and stop hitting repeat on the same ol' mistakes! Remember, fool me once, shame on you; fool me twice, well, maybe I need to reevaluate my life choices. 🔄🙈 #CosmicLessons

again, humor, idiot, irony, lesson, life, life lesson, mistakes, repeat, same, self-awareness, situations, sometimes, still, universe

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

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Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

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Trending Topics 📁

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

96 this month

Funny Quotes Total

14,690

Funny Quotes Topics

16,895

Funny Quotes Images

14,690

Dec 1, 2025

3,640

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇸🇾 has bookmarked:

“I’ve been fantasizing about going back to bed since I woke up this morning.”

Someone from 🇸🇱 has shared:

The dead bodies on Mt. Everest remind me that it’s perfectly fine to stay home and be lazy.

Someone from 🇧🇹 has downloaded:

I think it’s sad that getting married is one of the only ways to guarantee somebody will be forced to make a speech about how great you are.

Someone from 🇨🇾 has bookmarked:

Therapy? I have Spotify.

Someone from 🇱🇸 has downloaded:

Only money has the right to say “you’ll regret losing me”. The rest of you calm down.

Someone from 🇨🇲 has copied:

Convinced my kid her harmonica didn’t work because the instructions were missing.

Someone from 🇮🇱 has bookmarked:

You should get one IG story in addition to your one phone call when you’re arrested.

Someone from 🇹🇩 has shared:

There are real people living amongst us who pay for Discord Nitro.

Someone from 🇳🇿 has copied:

Every house has a smell that only the people living in it don’t smell.

Someone from 🇸🇧 has copied:

That odd feeling when your lunch break is over and you still have to work for another 30 years.

Social Media Log 💫

Seen just now on X:

I sign all anniversary cards with ‘Way to commit to the bit!’

Breaking via Threads:

All billionaires must submit a list of five things they did for society in the last week or their wealth shall be confiscated.

Breaking via LinkedIn:

As per my last curse, I have no interest in this.

Seen just now on WeChat:

Pluck a single eyebrow hair in 1994, and it never grows back. Pluck a single chin hair today, and it’s back with five friends by 6 p.m.

Going viral on LinkedIn:

Tuesday is no better than Monday.

Spreading quickly via Slack:

My kid tells me his toothpaste is “too spicy” but he doesn’t seem to be having any trouble with Flamin’ Hot Cheetos.

Seen just now on Reddit:

Just did a seductive hair flip and an onion ring flew out.

Live now on WeChat:

My wife refuses to hire a housekeeper because she doesn’t want them to see this mess.

Going viral on Instagram:

What if instead of Big Mac it was Big Matt and he came out and said hello to you?

Breaking via Snapchat:

I go to tattoo parlors and trick them into shaving my leg for me, and then leave.

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