Trending Funny Quotes 👇

  • I’m awake and working. Please respect my privacy during these trying and emotional times.
  • If you step on the back of my shoe and it comes off, I will do the same thing to your head.
  • Halloween is a big day for dogs who love to absolutely lose their shit when the doorbell rings.
  • “Cut my life into pieces” screamed the earthworm and threw itself in front of my spade.
  • It’s so funny how every true crime documentary eventually devolves into a story about how the police botched the entire investigation.
  • I ghost family members too, so believe me, bro — it’s not personal.