Skip to content
  • Privacy
  • Disclaimer
  • Terms & Conditions
Wordgag

10,000+ Funny Quotes

  • ⚡ Funny Quotes Slot →
Popular Topics 🚀
mental health routine satire exercise after comfort childhood relationships stop better memory thought old wish eat nature change honesty movie myself everything office own sorry travel Christmas laziness self-care pun trying self anxiety fashion girl talk around actually here experience name ID men snack thinking misunderstanding next coffee friendship marriage used
Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New funny quotes: 12946 this month

15,818 funny quotes and pics

17,813 funny quotes topics

Updated: May 27, 2026

 

 

 

 

55 Funny request quotes

Funny request quotes 🤪 are the perfect way to add a splash of humor to your day! Whether you’re asking your friend to grab you a coffee ☕ or trying to persuade your sibling to do your chores 🧹, a clever and comedic quote can do wonders. These witty one-liners will have everyone chuckling 😂 and wondering where you get your comedic brilliance from. Ready to tickle some funny bones? Dive in and enjoy the laughter! 🎉

Nothing in a household is said more lovingly than, “Can you bring me some toilet paper?”

Posted onMay 27, 2026

Odd—my boss told me to meet him at the abandoned quarry at midnight for my performance evaluation.

Posted onMay 27, 2026

Stop checking up on your friends, and check up on me.

Posted onMay 27, 2026

A coffee the size of Manhattan please.

Posted onMay 26, 2026

Money doesn’t impress me. Giving it to me does.

Posted onMay 26, 2026

I hate when people stare at me and don’t say anything. I mean, if you want an autograph or a picture just ask.

Posted onMay 25, 2026

Can we start the weekend again? I wasn’t ready.

Posted onMay 25, 2026

If you wish me a happy Thanksgiving, don’t be surprised if I whip out a ziplock bag and ask you to bring me home some leftovers.

Posted onMay 25, 2026

Boyfriend hasn’t accepted my LinkedIn request yet. He doesn’t want to connect. He doesn’t want to build.

Posted onMay 25, 2026

I don’t want to end this year on bad terms with anybody. Could you please apologize to me?

Posted onMay 25, 2026

You have one week to ask me to be your Valentine. Requests must be in the form of poetic verse written in your blood.

Posted onMay 25, 2026

Lord, please take this gas out of my stomach and put it in my car.

Posted onMay 25, 2026

If I’m ever in a coma, please put chapstick on my lips.

Posted onMay 24, 2026

Dearest, I beg of you, sleep properly and go for walks.

Posted onMay 24, 2026

Can someone please fix the algorithm of my life?

Posted onMay 24, 2026

Dear Aliens, Now would be a good time. Thanks!

Posted onMay 24, 2026

Dear Santa, Money!

Posted onMay 24, 2026

For my birthday, I want everyone to tell me how much they love me and why in immense detail.

Posted onMay 24, 2026

Need someone to feed me Doritos while I read, so I don’t mess up the pages. No weirdos.

Posted onMay 24, 2026

Could someone please come over here and be the adult? I’m too tired.

Posted onMay 24, 2026

Going down a rabbit hole if anyone wants anything.

Posted onMay 23, 2026

Me at war: You guys mind if I leave a bit early today?

Posted onMay 23, 2026

Having an exorcism, but only because the demon requested it.

Posted onMay 23, 2026

Asking for a donation like Wikipedia every time someone asks me a question.

Posted onMay 23, 2026

Slowly descending into madness. Anyone want anything?

Posted onMay 23, 2026

Look, a three-day weekend is all I ask. The rest can be four-day weekends.

Posted onMay 22, 2026

The difference between coffee and your opinion is that I asked for coffee.

Posted onMay 22, 2026

Hey, can I get an ETA on that “this too shall pass”?

Posted onMay 22, 2026

Don’t ring my doorbell unless you’re accompanied by a camera crew and holding balloons and a big check.

Posted onMay 22, 2026

Going ballistic. Anyone need anything?

Posted onMay 22, 2026

To whoever has my voodoo doll, please stop making her go to work.

Posted onMay 22, 2026

Excuse me, but would you sign my petition to ban petitions?

Posted onMay 22, 2026

Does anyone have the number of the witch from Snow White? I need a few apples.

Posted onMay 22, 2026

I was disappointed to learn today that my request for a sabbatical was rejected. Apparently that’s “not how marriage works.”

Posted onMay 21, 2026

Asking Santa Claus for nudes.

Posted onMay 20, 2026

Can you put some pants on my voodoo doll and pop some money in the pocket, please?

Posted onMay 20, 2026

I was in Paris with a boyfriend once and he lit a candle in Notre Dame in order to ask God to raise the price of Bitcoin.

Posted onMay 20, 2026

Someone asked, “Can I bum a scroll?” because they deleted Instagram off their phone.

Posted onMay 20, 2026

Before you just FaceTime me randomly, please don’t.

Posted onMay 19, 2026

Alexa, play everyone that played me.

Posted onMay 19, 2026

Posts navigation

Older posts

© 2026 Wordgag Inc.

>>> Random Quotes ✨