Trending Funny Quotes 👇

  • I’m too lazy to be a superhero. If I had laser eyes, I’d probably just use them to heat soup or something.
  • If swimming is such good exercise, explain whales.
  • Life is short, flirt with me!
  • Cholesterol has a special place in my heart.
  • God creating the duck: waterproof that chicken and give it a kazoo.
  • Marriage is 33.3% hiding to eat snacks because you and your spouse are supposed to be on a diet.