74 funny thoughts quotes - Wordgag

I think social media is marvellous. You type your thoughts into it, and then insane people let you know if they like them or not.

May 30, 2026

I love posting my thoughts on the internet. Now they’re your problem.

May 30, 2026

I’m an atheist, so if you send prayers, I’ll send thoughts.

May 30, 2026

An escape room, but it’s just your thoughts. Good luck.

May 30, 2026

Thoughts & prayers to all of us back at work tomorrow after the colossal mistake of thinking we’d be lads of leisure forever, for some reason.

May 29, 2026

I’m looking for insults so intelligent you don’t realize you’ve been roasted until three thoughts later.

May 29, 2026

Full-time employment will have you making lists of thoughts to think.

May 29, 2026

Babe, what’s wrong? You’ve barely tweeted your manic thoughts today.

May 29, 2026

I’ve discovered that my visiting family members leave crumbs in the butter. Please keep me in your thoughts during this difficult time.

May 28, 2026

Womansplaining is when a woman tries to explain to you what you’re thinking/feeling, and is just totally 100% wrong.

May 27, 2026

The amount of inappropriate thoughts I have is a little concerning.

May 27, 2026

Got electrocuted while fixing the doorbell, and now I can hear my girlfriend’s thoughts. She’s thinking she should have called an electrician.

May 27, 2026

Even before the internet, I always had a little side chat going on in my head.

May 27, 2026

The earlier you wake up, the more time you have to think about why you wish you were still asleep in bed.

May 27, 2026

When you accidentally laugh at your own thoughts, and now people are staring.

May 27, 2026

It’s so cool when people who write for a living admit that they don’t read books or have thoughts.

May 27, 2026

Called in telepathically this morning, so they know I’m thinking of them.

May 27, 2026

Still holding out hope that these intrusive thoughts are just gas.

May 27, 2026

Some things are better left unsaid, which I usually realize after I say them.

May 27, 2026

Thinking about writing my own eulogy because I don’t want my loved ones to say I’m a control freak.

May 27, 2026

Having a crush is so stupid. Like, why is this dude in my head at 8 am?

May 26, 2026

Need a permanent vacuum for unwanted thoughts.

May 26, 2026

Adulting has stunned me into silence. I have no thoughts, no remarks and no commentary at the moment.

May 26, 2026

There’s no filter on my pics or my thoughts. I’m just out here raw-dogging it.

May 26, 2026

At the gym and I forgot my headphones and now I have to listen to my own thoughts. Send help.

May 26, 2026

I want to sleep but my brain won’t stop talking to itself.

May 26, 2026

If you’re thinking what I’m thinking, you need professional help.

May 26, 2026

Thoughts more intrusive than a 90s sitcom neighbor.

May 26, 2026

“It’s all in your head!” Correct! Unfortunately, I am also in there.

May 26, 2026

People who can fall asleep quickly freak me out… I mean, don’t they have thoughts?

May 26, 2026

I worry a lot about the wild animals in my neighborhood, but I’m beginning to think they don’t worry about me.

May 26, 2026

Imagine hating me and I’m just over here trying to remember how to spell “definitely”.

May 25, 2026

My first thought upon waking up in the morning is “not again”.

May 25, 2026

If you’re gonna spend so much time in my head, would it kill you to tidy up a bit?

May 25, 2026May 25, 2026

Sometimes uncontrollable laughter is all you need to get the millions of thoughts out of your head.

May 25, 2026

Does anyone else feel like their brain has a hundred tabs open at once?

May 25, 2026

Shaking my head like an Etch a Sketch to get my thoughts right.

May 25, 2026

Don’t listen to any thoughts about yourself if your hair isn’t washed. It’s just not true.

May 25, 2026

On Twitter, you will always find someone who is tweeting your thoughts but with better grammar.

May 25, 2026

Sometimes it’s the conversations you have with yourself that take the longest.

May 24, 2026