Trending Funny Quotes 👇

  • Every time your mom tells you that she wants the best for you, she is talking about me.
  • I always wonder who makes a more stupid face: women putting on make-up or men shaving?
  • Went outside. Touched grass. Got bit by bugs. Zero stars.
  • You can’t change your past but you can change your pasta.
  • The only reason I insist on returning to the office is because my cat needs a break from me staring at him all day.
  • People who work in retail should be allowed to slap a customer or two each Christmas, as a little treat.