Trending Funny Quotes šŸ‘‡

  • Deleting dating apps because I want to meet someone the old fashioned way (he and his donkey rescue me from a tower guarded by a dragon).
  • The most important thing I learned in life, and I can’t stress enough, it doesn’t matter where you went to college. The only thing that matters is that you’re really hot.
  • Fall in love? I can barely fall asleep.
  • Kinda sucks that I actually own a skeleton but don’t get to show anyone until I die.
  • The first 120 hours after the weekend are always the worst.
  • I haven’t spoken to my wife in years. I didn’t want to interrupt her.