Funny quotes ยป holiday

130 Funny holiday quotes

Funny holiday quotes add a touch of humor to your festive celebrations! ๐ŸŽ‰๐Ÿ˜‚ Whether it’s poking fun at holiday traditions, quirky family gatherings, or seasonal mishaps, these quotes bring a laugh to every occasion. Enjoy the lighter side of the season and spread some cheer with these playful holiday gems! ๐Ÿ˜„๐ŸŽ„

New funny holiday quotes ๐Ÿ‘‡

  • Using my one phone call to call Santa.

    Commentary:
    “Hope Santa’s phone plan covers bailouts! 🎅📞🎄 #DearSanta”

  • When I become president, any public holiday that falls on a Thursday automatically extends to Friday.

    Commentary:
    Looks like when I’m president, Thursdays are getting a promotion! 🗳️🎉 Who needs a weekend when you can have a double day off? 😎🇺🇸 Let’s make “Thursday extensions” the new national policy—because everyone deserves a little extra weekend magic! ✨🛌

  • What we need is an evil Santa who steals our children’s most annoying toys.

    Commentary:
    🤣 Oh, the thought of an evil Santa swiping away our kids’ most irritating toys is both diabolical and brilliant! Finally, a holiday hero we can truly get behind! Goodbye, noisy toys and batteries that never last – we’re counting on you, Evil Santa! 👹🎅🎁🚫 #ParentingDreams

  • Wild how we don’t get a public holiday for Wrestlemania, but okay.

    Commentary:
    “Seriously, why do we have to pretend we’re all responsible adults working on a Monday instead of body-slamming each other in the ring? 🤼‍♂️🎉 #WrestlemaniaHolidayNeeded”

  • Don’t blame the holidays, you were already overweight in August.

    Commentary:
    🎄🍔🍟 “Don’t blame the holidays for that extra serving of pie – you were already rocking that ‘summer bod’ in August! Maybe your beach towel needed a little more loving than your salad bowl 🤷‍♂️🤣 #HolidayFeastFail”

  • Santa keeps a pair of mounted antlers over his fireplace to keep the reindeer from unionizing.

    Commentary:
    Looks like Santa is not just busy making toys but also playing reindeer games of labor negotiations! 🦌🔥 Who knew the North Pole had its own version of office politics. Watch out for flying sleigh grievances! 🎅✨

  • Thanksgiving ainโ€™t been the same ever since my uncle pulled that gun out on everybody.

    Commentary:
    “Looks like Uncle Buck decided to bring a whole new meaning to ‘pass the gravy, not the Glock’ this Thanksgiving! 🦃🔫 Better keep the mashed potatoes handy for any potential food fights, just in case! 😅”

  • Congratulations to the people who never took their Christmas decorations down. Youโ€™re almost there.

    Commentary:
    “Kudos to those whose Christmas decorations are still up! You’re not late, you’re just early for next year. Keep spreading that festive cheer year-round!”

  • If you wish me a happy Thanksgiving, donโ€™t be surprised if I whip out a ziplock bag and ask you to bring me home some leftovers.

    Commentary:
    “Ah, the true spirit of Thanksgiving – not just a celebration of gratitude, but also a strategic operation for securing the best leftovers! It’s like a tasty treasure hunt where the real prize is that second helping of pumpkin pie. So, if you’re hoping for well-wishes, better come prepared with a Tupperware and a hearty appetite! Happy Turkey Day and may your fridge always be full.”

  • I didnโ€™t believe in karma until I was scheduled to work at 6am on a holiday.

    Commentary:
    Well, that’s one way to learn about karma the hard way – waking up at dawn on a holiday! Who knew the universe had such a twisted sense of humor when it comes to work schedules? It seems like karma’s alarm clock is set to “early bird gets the regret.”

For even more funny holiday quotes, check out the next page, if available ๐Ÿ‘‡

All funny holiday quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes ๐Ÿ‘Œ

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