I successfully avoided the red-eye flight and got the much milder pink eye flight.

Commentary:
"Someone clearly misunderstood the concept of 'taking a red-eye.' ๐ŸŒš๐Ÿ’ผ Nevertheless, avoiding pink eye is definitely the way to go on flights! ๐Ÿ‘๏ธโœˆ๏ธ #TravelWoes"