26 funny flight quotes - Wordgag

People who leave the blinds closed the entire plane ride: who hurt you?

May 30, 2026

In all the movies, Santa never goes to the house directly next door. He always gets in his sleigh and flies off like 20 miles east.

May 29, 2026

Some Uber rides in NYC are the same price as a JetBlue flight to Miami.

May 29, 2026

Currently looking for tickets for the first flight back to the ’90s.

May 28, 2026

My toxic trait is when I’m bored, I start looking for flights to book.

May 28, 2026

This flight is so long, I don’t know where I’m going anymore. I just live here now. Even the crying baby gave up.

May 27, 2026

I like when the superheroes that can fly pick up and carry the ones that can’t.

May 27, 2026

I think airplanes would be way cooler if the wings flapped like a bird.

May 27, 2026

Seeing a beautiful woman drink her beer is like witnessing an angel take flight.

May 27, 2026

Just had a crazy revelation: you can eat in the airport after your flight, too.

May 27, 2026

Have an early flight tomorrow, so naturally I’m going to stay up late tonight and be weird in my room.

May 27, 2026

I successfully avoided the red-eye flight and got the much milder pink eye flight.

May 24, 2026

If there’s no open mouth cougher on the plane they hold the flight until they can find one.

May 24, 2026

Apologies about the delay to your flight. We’re just waiting for one 3D printed part, but apparently a ‘fuselage’ takes a little time.

May 23, 2026

When waiting for a flight, there’s always one guy at the gate that makes you think, “As long as I’m not sitting next to him, I’ll be fine.”

May 23, 2026

Airlines when they need to change your flight: here’s a complimentary napkin. Airlines when you need to change your flight: that’ll be $8700.

May 23, 2026

Once again, I have fallen for life’s biggest scam: being two hours early for a flight only for security to take roughly seven minutes.

May 23, 2026

The longest drum solo was 10 hours and 26 minutes and was performed by the child sitting behind me on a flight from LA to Tokyo.

May 23, 2026

If you’re in first class on a flight, sometimes they upgrade you to captain.

May 22, 2026

If you pick a movie that’s longer than the flight, the pilot gets a notification to fly around for a bit.

May 22, 2026

Sitting on the middle seat of this flight and both my seatmates are reading my book over my shoulder. Should I just start reading it aloud?

May 21, 2026

Bugs Bunny taught me that my choices aren’t limited to fight or flight, I can also pretend I’m a pretty lady.

May 21, 2026

My fight or flight response has frequent flyer miles.

May 20, 2026

The bad news is there was a lot of turbulence on my flight this morning. The good news is my phone counted it as steps.

May 20, 2026

Some people shop for designer heels. I shop for nonstop flight deals.

May 19, 2026

Sometimes I’ll drink a ginger ale and eat a Biscoff cookie and sit up in kind of an unnatural position and pretend I’m on a Delta flight.

May 19, 2026