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Funny Quotes Data πŸ€“

New funny quotes: 7574 this month

15,818 funny quotes and pics

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Updated: May 23, 2026

 

 

 

 

74 Funny eye quotes

Funny eye quotes πŸ‘€ are the wink and nod you didn’t know your day needed! Whether it’s a cheeky take on side-eye glances 😏 or a pun-filled ode to spectacles πŸ€“, these quotes will tickle your funny bone and sharpen your vision of humor. Perfect for light-hearted banter, they’re an eye-deal way to share a laugh and see the world through a quirky lens πŸ˜‚!

An eye exam where the optometrist makes you read a menu under dim lights.

Posted onMay 23, 2026

Is it smoky eye or were you wearing mascara and your eyes got itchy?

Posted onMay 23, 2026

Alcohol and eye contact is a deadly combo.

Posted onMay 23, 2026

My favorite part about talking to my teens is when they give me direct eye contact, listen intently, nod understandingly and then do the exact opposite of what I just said.

Posted onMay 22, 2026

I’m not a very good poker player cause my eyes turn into big dollar signs when I see that I have a good hand.

Posted onMay 22, 2026

Congrats to my tween for graduating at the top of his class from eye roll university.

Posted onMay 22, 2026

Men don’t eject their eyes from their sockets and yell awooga anymore.

Posted onMay 22, 2026

When the moon hits your eye like it’s 5:45, that’s November.

Posted onMay 22, 2026

My dog just looked me in the eye and said β€œno one is gonna believe you”, then took a nap.

Posted onMay 22, 2026

Tried to pull off a smokey eye, ended up looking like I went three rounds with McGregor.

Posted onMay 22, 2026

One week without chocolate. I can no longer hear anything in my left eye.

Posted onMay 21, 2026

Gonna get my eye looked at today. Usually it’s the other way around.

Posted onMay 21, 2026

We’d never met, or even spoken, but I could tell just from gazing into her pale blue eyes I had stepped on her toe.

Posted onMay 21, 2026

When I was a young boy, the doctor told me I had a lazy eye. By the time I was 50, it had spread to the rest of my body.

Posted onMay 21, 2026

Second day without coffee. I can no longer hear out of my left eye.

Posted onMay 21, 2026

You can tell me what you want, but alcohol and eye contact are a dangerous combination.

Posted onMay 21, 2026

When the moon hits your eye like a big pizza pie, that’s amore. When you swim in the sea and an eel bites your knee, that’s a moray.

Posted onMay 21, 2026

The human body is amazing. One half-open eye and the brain under emergency power are enough to make coffee.

Posted onMay 21, 2026

Saw the eye doctor, and that’s 90% of the vision test right there.

Posted onMay 21, 2026

Accidentally made eye contact with the sweets at the grocery store and now have to declare bankruptcy.

Posted onMay 21, 2026

Day number 3 without coffee: Lost hearing in my left eye.

Posted onMay 21, 2026

Candy companies will look you straight in the eye and lie about how they know what a banana tastes like.

Posted onMay 20, 2026

β€œMy family doesn’t have a black sheep,” I say, while everyone avoids eye contact.

Posted onMay 20, 2026

It is easier to pass a camel through the eye of a needle than it is to convince somebody online that they are wrong.

Posted onMay 20, 2026

You don’t scare me. You’re not the evil eye I get from my dog when I make him get up from the couch so I can lay down.

Posted onMay 20, 2026

Beauty is in the eye of the beer holder.

Posted onMay 20, 2026

My eye doctor is alarmingly young and when he said he thought I had a chalazion or a hordoleum, I thought he might be referencing PokΓ©mon.

Posted onMay 20, 2026

If we ever make eye contact, just know I imagined way too much already.

Posted onMay 19, 2026

My first instinct when I see an animal is to say β€œhello.” My first instinct when I see a person is to avoid eye contact and hope it goes away.

Posted onMay 19, 2026

Phone is a cigarette for eyes.

Posted onMay 19, 2026

I’ll make direct eye contact while eating a hot dog, just to make you feel weird.

Posted onMay 19, 2026

Jesus turns water into wine, and everybody goes crazy. Cows turn grass into milk, and nobody bats an eye.

Posted onMay 18, 2026

Good morning to everyone who still believes what they see with their own two eyes.

Posted onApr 1, 2026

Twitter is cigarette for the eyes.

Posted onApr 1, 2026

This Dollar Tree energy drink has me seeing colors that aren’t available to the naked eye, yet.

Posted onApr 1, 2026

No rizz, just pretty eyes and many unsettling things to say.

Posted onApr 1, 2026

Anime characters are always like “But you didn’t know about my eye,” and then they activate their mode.

Posted onApr 1, 2026

Man, you really don’t appreciate not having something in your eye until you have something in your eye.

Posted onApr 1, 2026

Behind every great tweet is a person rolling their eyes.

Posted onApr 1, 2026

In Hell, “Cotton Eye Joe” plays on an eternal loop. The heat and fire are actually pleasant compared to that.

Posted onMar 31, 2026

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