Trending Funny Quotes 👇

  • You know you’re a bad cook when the dog won’t lick the plate.
  • My real introduction to classical music came from watching Tom & Jerry cartoons as a kid. Also how I got into sadism.
  • I’ve found that the easiest way to do burpees is to just not do burpees. No pain, no pain.
  • My neighbor is having some kind of party and didn’t invite me. I guess I have to call the cops again.
  • No haunted houses for me this year. If I wanna be frightened, I’ll just look at my 401k.
  • You know what brought my home value up? Not having an angry man in it.