Trending Funny Quotes 👇

  • Get married and have kids so that you can Google things like “How to teach your kid to not bite”.
  • Me: God, please stop giving me your toughest battles. God: You just have to empty the dishwasher.
  • Emotions? No thanks. I’m trying to cut down.
  • People always talk about how they love to sit in their cars for a while once they get home. Whenever I do that, my Uber driver yells at me.
  • Had salad for the third night in a row and now I get why you’re so angry, vegans.
  • Insanity runs in my family. It practically gallops.