Trending Funny Quotes 👇

  • Metallica’s “Nothing Else Matters” is my favorite song about that 5 minutes of sleep before the alarm goes off.
  • I’ve decided to cut my carbs… into smaller pieces before eating them.
  • We’d never met, or even spoken, but I could tell just from gazing into her pale blue eyes I had stepped on her toe.
  • When I say someone is a good doctor, it’s entirely based on the strength of their waiting room Wi-Fi.
  • Good morning to everyone except the baristas who don’t tighten the lid.
  • As a kid, I used to watch The Wizard of Oz and wonder how someone could talk if they didn’t have a brain. Then I got social media.