Trending Funny Quotes 👇

  • When someone points at your black clothes and asks whose funeral it is, having a look around the room and saying ‘Haven’t decided yet’ is typically a good response.
  • To the tune of ‘Everybody Dance Now’: Himalayan Sea Salt
  • Accidentally became important at work and it’s ruining my life.
  • Sorry, can’t. Calling NASA and making alien noises.
  • I had a heated but interesting discussion today and they even agreed with me at the end. That’s exactly why I love talking to myself.
  • I’m not being smart, I’m just a skilled trained professional in pointing out the obvious.