Trending Funny Quotes 👇

  • I get so crabby when strangers waste my time which is unfair to them because I waste almost all of my own time to begin with.
  • Hit the vape till it tastes like technology.
  • Got banned from the sauna at my gym for saying “steam me up, Scotty” a few too many times.
  • Hey cell phone companies who play smooth jazz hold music hoping I’ll lose interest and give up: yeah, it’s kinda working.
  • Just did a seductive hair flip and an onion ring flew out.
  • Twitter is an abusement park.