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Trending Funny Quotes 👇

  • Therapy isn’t enough. I need to be electrocuted and get my memory erased.
  • Once you’ve been single for a long time, you realize how exhausting relationships can be.
  • God, never seen San Francisco this bad. Spiderwebs completely covering entire business, skeletons just strewn about sidewalks in every neighborhood. Things have got to change!
  • If you take a social media sabbatical, don’t announce it. Just make your last post something fun like “I wonder if there’s a bear in this cave?”
  • Mud season creeps up on us every year, destroying hearts and minds as well as light grey carpeting.
  • Carrots are a great thing to eat when you’re hungry, and want to stay that way.