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Revolutionary dating strategy: discover the mystery of a woman by asking absolutely nothing 😅🕵️♂️🙈
136 Funny yourself quotes
Kids be like, I see you have a moment to yourself, and I must correct that immediately.
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Ah yes, the parental break alarm just went off—time to cancel relaxation mode! 🚨🤣🍼
Having your own apartment by yourself is so funny, cause I really just swept the whole place naked.
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Living solo: where dust bunnies fear the birthday suit cleaning crew 🧹😆🏡
If you’re not getting spoiled, then spoil yourself.
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When life doesn't give you lemons, just buy your own and make a luxury lemonade stand 🍋💅✨
Do you ever find yourself just thinkin’ about bread?
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When I'm staring into space, 99% of the time I'm planning my next bread encounter 🍞😄🥖
If you ever find yourself as a houseguest for an extended period of time, here is the golden rule for success: invisible by day, charming by night.
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Channeling my inner vampire: sleeping all day, social butterfly by moonlight 🌙🦇🍷
Give yourself time to heal. A couple of decades should do it.
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That's right, I'm just following doctor's orders as I enjoy my leisurely 20-year spa day 😂🛁⏳
Addicted to bad posture. Omggg, why is it so comfortable to give yourself scoliosis?
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Channeling my inner pretzel to achieve expert-level bad posture! 🥨😌🪑
If being hard on yourself worked, it would have worked by now!
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Clearly, my inner critic missed the memo on productivity! 🤔😂🤦♂️
The problem with “treat yourself” is that I don’t know how to stop. I had a bad day in March, and I’ve been treating myself ever since.
Commentary:
This sounds like my New Year's resolution: endless dessert and zero regrets! 🍰🤣