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Trending Funny Quotes 👇

  • Money can’t buy happiness, until you’re on vacation and then you realize it definitely can.
  • That was a nice hour long Twitter scroll. Feel much worse as always. See you guys tomorrow.
  • Make it a habit to cry and act unhinged at meetings so you’re never invited back.
  • I could never commit gun violence. The only things I know how to reload are my pill caddy and the batteries for the remote.
  • King Kong should’ve been able to find a better place to hide than the top of the tallest building in the middle of New York City.
  • The term “domestic housewife” implies the existence of a feral housewife and that is what I aspire to be.