I hate when I turn off my brights for an incoming vehicle and then realize it’s a Cybertruck.

Someone from 🇻🇳 has viewed:

Staring sadly at the empty ice cream bowl that’s too small for licking.

Someone from 🇧🇩 has downloaded:

You should be able to google what someone said to you at the bar last night.

Someone from 🇬🇦 has downloaded:

Adulthood is saying “but after this week things will slow down a bit” over and over until you die.

Someone from 🇪🇪 has downloaded:

I just sneezed into my elbow and now I’m waiting for a preschool teacher to praise me.

Someone from 🇧🇭 has bookmarked:

Tomorrow isn’t promised, so make sure you tell bad people they’re bad.

Someone from 🇧🇧 has bookmarked:

Receipts are like: Take this tiny piece of paper home with you and throw it away.

Someone from 🇲🇰 has bookmarked:

Me, as a therapist: “OMG, me too!”

Someone from 🇵🇱 has downloaded:

They should release the Epstein list right before the Oscars.

Someone from 🇻🇺 has downloaded:

Technically, the Friday after July 4 isn’t a holiday. But I think we all know that Americans have a constitutional right to take the fifth.

Someone from 🇧🇭 has downloaded:

I have a man cold. Goodbye, world. Tell my story.