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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇰🇬 has shared:

I’ve surpassed the need for coffee, for I have evolved into a higher state of awesome.

Someone from 🇩🇯 has shared:

Nothing humbles you faster than your phone slipping out of your hand and hitting your face.

Someone from 🇦🇫 has shared:

Changing my passwords regularly has certainly helped protect my accounts. Against me.

Someone from 🇨🇭 has viewed:

What’s wrong, babe? You hardly touched your own advice you give to others.

Someone from 🇦🇷 has downloaded:

Welcome to adulthood: you’re not hungover, it’s just Tuesday.

Someone from 🇹🇷 has downloaded:

Nothing fixes your life the way deactivating Instagram does.

Someone from 🇱🇨 has viewed:

Sex makes you happy. So I understand your dissatisfaction.

Someone from 🇨🇦 has bookmarked:

Not smiling until Friday; nothing is funny this week.

Someone from 🇷🇴 has shared:

Men can be sorted into two camps: the ones who get haircuts way before they need them, and the ones who wait until people in their lives are complaining.

Someone from 🇼🇸 has shared:

My doubters will become my grouters when I remodel the bathroom of success.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

[monthly_post_count]

Funny Quotes Total

14,549

Funny Quotes Topics

16,781

Funny Quotes Images

14,549

Nov 27, 2025

3,810

Social Media Log 💫

Freshly posted on Instagram:

Relationship status: I’m the only one wearing my hoodies.

Shared recently on Twitch:

My favorite thing to do is nothing, with no one.

Just landed via WeChat:

Two people had sex and now I’m fighting for my life everyday.

Trending via Telegram:

The inventor of archery: Man, I really wanna stab that guy over there.

Shared recently on Snapchat:

Talking to some people is like folding a fitted sheet.

Shared recently on Twitch:

Remember, if you start with, “It’s crazy to think…” you can say whatever you want.

Broadcasted on Facebook:

Girl math is avoiding shipping costs by buying more.

Just shared via Twitch:

I always wonder who makes a more stupid face: women putting on make-up or men shaving?

Trending via Reddit:

Halloween pumpkins look even scarier if you just use the ones from last year.

Making waves on Instagram:

My wife and I always eat dinner as fast as possible so we can have a popsicle.

Offering someone food, and secretly hoping, they don’t want it.

3 weeks ago

Offering someone food, and secretly hoping, they don’t want it.

Download image ↓

Commentary:
"Ah, the classic 'offering food but low-key praying they decline' maneuver 🍔🙏. It's the ultimate test of politeness vs. hunger! Will they pick up on your subtle hints, or will you have to reluctantly share your precious snacks? The suspense is delicious… or not, depending on their answer! 😅"

awkwardnes, food, hope, humor, offer, relationship, secret, social, someone, want

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

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Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

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Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

[monthly_post_count]

Funny Quotes Total

14,549

Funny Quotes Topics

16,781

Funny Quotes Images

14,549

Nov 27, 2025

3,777

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇰🇷 has downloaded:

How do you politely tell someone that they ruined your life?

Someone from 🇲🇦 has copied:

I need someone to peer pressure me into doing things.

Someone from 🇨🇬 has shared:

I’ve been saying for years that cigs are better for you than vapes, and the vindication I feel now is just orgasmic.

Someone from 🇯🇲 has copied:

I’m so unpopular at school they call me “Batteries”. I’m never included in anything.

Someone from 🇧🇾 has downloaded:

If you like true crime stories, I highly recommend the history of the Catholic Church.

Someone from 🇰🇼 has downloaded:

People on diet aren’t mad at you. They’re mad at their lunch.

Someone from 🇬🇩 has copied:

I once let a really short guy be the big spoon and it felt like I went to bed with a backpack on.

Someone from 🇵🇰 has bookmarked:

I love cute tiny purses, but I’m sad to say I can never be a cute tiny purse girl. I need to haul my hoard of objects everywhere I go, because what if….

Someone from 🇸🇴 has bookmarked:

I just want someone to miss me the way my 3 year old nephew misses me when I go to the washroom.

Someone from 🇧🇧 has downloaded:

The nice thing about wintertime is that it’s darker for longer, so you see a lot less people.

Social Media Log 💫

Shared recently on TikTok:

Mouse in a conference call: hold on, I’m gonna put you on squeakerphone.

Trending via Instagram:

I hate to brag but I excel at my faults.

Making waves on Snapchat:

I now also have a device that tells me whether I’ve taken enough steps today. If I don’t make it one day, it barks and poops in my apartment.

Seen just now on Instagram:

I’m not sure how long my body can handle this “getting out of bed early in the morning” nonsense.

Spotted on Reddit:

If a portal opened up in front of me, I’d go in—no questions asked.

Freshly posted on Slack:

Body: time to fall asleep. Brain: hey, that’s an interesting thought, here’s six billion more.

Going viral on Twitch:

Breaking News: Jenny on Facebook is having salad for dinner tonight.

Just shared via YouTube:

I think my soulmate might be carbs.

Making waves on Reddit:

I’m a simple person. All I need in life to be happy is to have everything go my way and work out how I want it to.

Just landed via Instagram:

It’s officially Christmas shopping season, and I can’t even afford my own life.

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