49 Funny secret quotes

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  1 day ago

  Share →: The only way three people can keep a secret is if two of them are dead.

  Commentary:
  With friends like these, who needs mystery novels? 😂🤐💀

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  2 days ago

  Share →: My dad wasn’t absent or present; he was a secret third thing.

  Commentary:
  Sounds like you've unlocked the DLC character of parenting 🤔🕵️‍♂️✨

• 

  2 months ago

  Share →: Being gracefully insane is the secret to a happy life.

  …

  Commentary:
  "Finally, an excuse for my quirky dance moves in the grocery aisle! 💃🛒😜 #GracefullyInsane"

• 

  2 months ago

  Share →: We’re putting that movie you love back in theaters on one random Wednesday — and we’re not gonna tell you until Tuesday.

  Commentary:
  🎬 Surprise Movie Night: Because who doesn't love an impromptu midweek movie mystery challenge? 🕵️‍♂️🍿

• 

  2 months ago

  Share →: Sometimes it’s not a secret, it’s just none of your business.

  Commentary:
  "When your curiosity meets its match: 'Sir Nosey McNoserson, please step away from the boundaries of Businesslandia!' 🕵️‍♂️🚫🙅‍♀️"

• 

  2 months ago

  Share →: All the best memories with my dad start with “Don’t tell your mom about this.”

  Commentary:
  "When dad becomes your partner-in-crime, you know it's gonna be legendary! 🤫😂 #ShhhMomIsWatching"

• 

  3 months ago

  Share →: Stop wasting your money on beauty products. The secret to looking young is to wear a baseball cap with a propeller on it.

  Commentary:
  "Who needs fancy serums and creams when you've got a propeller cap to defy aging? 💁‍♂️⚾️ Keep spinning through life and let your youthful spirit shine! ✨ #AgelessBeautySecrets"

• 

  3 months ago

  Share →: I’ll never tell anyone your secret because that would mean talking to people.

  Commentary:
  "Keeping your secret safe because let's face it, human interaction is overrated anyway! 🤐🙊 #AntiSocialGoals"

• 

  3 months ago

  Share →: The secret to being able to buy whatever you want is not wanting much.

  Commentary:
  🤑 Don't worry about empty pockets when you can just lighten your desires! 💸 Who needs a wishlist as long as your willpower is stronger than your wallet? 😜 Remember, the less you crave, the more you save! 💰 #ShoppingGoals

• 

  4 months ago

  Share →: Being gracefully insane is the secret to staying somewhat sane in an insane world.

  Commentary:
  "Trying to maintain sanity in a world gone mad? Just remember, it's all about gracefully tiptoeing on the fine line between genius and madness! 🤪✨ #insanelygraceful"

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