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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇵🇼 has copied:

I want a small, tasteful wedding. No family. No friends. No groom. Just me eating a big cake.

Someone from 🇮🇷 has bookmarked:

If cats could send Christmas cards, they wouldn’t.

Someone from 🇧🇪 has copied:

I hate having a messy house. Not enough to actually clean it, but enough to give it a disgusted stare while I peacefully relax on the couch.

Someone from 🇷🇴 has bookmarked:

Washing mushrooms is the quickest way to figure out exactly how much dirt you’re okay with eating.

Someone from 🇲🇰 has shared:

Hey, boy, are you the worst-case scenario? Because you’re all I think about.

Someone from 🇮🇱 has bookmarked:

I’m basically the human version of tangled up Christmas lights.

Someone from 🇮🇹 has downloaded:

Currently helping my husband look for his $20 I spent yesterday.

Someone from 🇲🇳 has shared:

I was going to buy my wife a car for Christmas but then I remembered I don’t live in a commercial.

Someone from 🇱🇨 has bookmarked:

No, I’m not “dating anyone.” I’m really busy playing outside.

Someone from 🇵🇹 has downloaded:

Staring sadly at the empty ice cream bowl that’s too small for licking.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

882 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

11,044

Funny Quotes Topics

13,983

Funny Quotes Images

11,044

4 minutes ago

3,427

Social Media Log 💫

Freshly posted on Reddit:

The free hotel blow-dryer should be easier to get off the bathroom wall.

Broadcasted on Snapchat:

You ran a half marathon? That’s really cool, I’ve almost finished a bunch of things, too.

Spreading quickly via TikTok:

For Halloween I will go to the beach dressed as a french fry and let the seagulls destroy me.

Spotted on Threads:

I’m so vulnerable to nostalgia. The sun will go down and I’ll be like: “Wow… remember when the sun was up… I miss who I was then”

Shared recently on Instagram:

I find as I get older it’s the little things that bring me joy. Like embarrassing my children.

Breaking via Messenger:

When the executioner asks me what my final words are, I’m just going to start filibustering.

Spotted on LinkedIn:

Baby, we believe in God around here, I don’t care what’s trending these days.

Breaking via Discord:

I’ve never seen anything sadder than me in a black cape under the salon lights with wet hair parted incorrectly by a solid inch.

Shared recently on Discord:

“And on the 7th day he rested”. Obviously God had not yet created laundry at that point.

Broadcasted on Discord:

Female breasts are nature’s anti-stress balls. The irony is that they are connected to the biggest stress-inducing device.

A more accurate description would be ‘The Darker Web’.

4 months ago

A more accurate description would be ‘The Darker Web’.

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Commentary:
Ah, yes, welcome to the edgier side of the internet – where memes wear black and cookies are sprinkled with a hint of existential crisis. 🕶️💻 Embrace the shadows of "The Darker Web," where the ones and zeros are as mysterious as your browsing history. Who needs sunshine when you have encrypted darkness? 🌑🕸️ #KeepingItCryptic

accurate, dark, dark web, description, humor, internet, joke, satire, technology, web

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

New Funny Quotes

Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

Trending Topics 📁

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

882 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

11,044

Funny Quotes Topics

13,983

Funny Quotes Images

11,044

4 minutes ago

3,446

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇦🇲 has shared:

Sugar held my hand through every breakup.

Someone from 🇬🇷 has viewed:

If I was pregnant and people asked when I was due, I would say “What do you mean?”

Someone from 🇳🇴 has bookmarked:

I wonder if that football guy will be at the Taylor Swift game again today.

Someone from 🇨🇱 has viewed:

Her idea of a romantic setting is one that has a diamond in it.

Someone from 🇵🇪 has viewed:

The concept of a courtroom sketch artist is so funny to me. Here’s our little murder doodler.

Someone from 🇨🇭 has bookmarked:

Italy stands for I Truly Always Love You.

Someone from 🇧🇫 has copied:

The potholes in my city will change your radio station and unlock the doors.

Someone from 🇵🇹 has shared:

You sound unhinged. Let’s go get mugshots.

Someone from 🇨🇱 has shared:

My acting reel includes clips of me “listening” during Zoom meetings.

Someone from 🇭🇹 has shared:

I don’t follow washing instructions, you’re my clothes you don’t tell me what to do.

Social Media Log 💫

Just landed via Discord:

If a company’s hiring sign says, “Come grow with us,” you’re about to do the work of 3-5 people.

Seen just now on Messenger:

The ugliest version of me is the version that comes out when I play board games. I don’t know who she is, but she is a monster. She is not fit for human interaction.

Going viral on Facebook:

Human hibernation should be a thing.

Going viral on Pinterest:

I offered my nephew a donut and he said “no thanks, I’m not hungry right now” and I don’t think this little guy knows how donuts work.

Broadcasted on Instagram:

Sorry boys, but I’ve already got my eyes on a guy who’s not interested.

Making waves on Snapchat:

I walked into a holiday party, saw someone else already playing with the dog, and realized they’d stolen my entire social strategy.

Trending via Reddit:

Non-alcoholic beer is like a vibrator without batteries: it fills you up nicely but without the buzz…

Just shared via Facebook:

I only go for nature walks with people I can outrun.

Shared recently on WeChat:

Cheeseburgers should be free for anyone that’s in a bad mood.

Breaking via YouTube:

I wish the homes of all my friends were connected to mine by secret underground tunnels.

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