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Commentary:
"Embrace yourself for who you are… unless you have a weird affinity for dark alleys and duct tape. 🔪😅 Remember, it's all fun and games until someone starts collecting trophies! 🏆 #AcceptanceWithLimits"

acceptance, dark, dark humor, humor, identity, individuality, irony, killer, self-acceptance, serial, serial killer

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

I need you to think about me 23/7. You get 1 hour a day for yourself.

0

2 months ago

1, day, funny request, hour, humor, i, jealousy, love, me, need, obsession, possessiveness, relationship, request, think, thinking, time, yourself
Every time I stand up, my dog gets excited as hell. He understands that I’m a real man who can make shit happen at any given moment.

0

2 months ago

confidence, daily, daily life, dog, enthusiasm, every, excited, excitement, happen, hell, humor, i, life, man, masculinity, moment, motivation, pet, real, shit, stand, time
Laundry has to be the most sinister chore. Always waiting, always lurking.

0

2 months ago

always, chore, household, humor, laundry, lurking, most, relatable, sinister, tasks, waiting
I feel like I’m in season 5 of my life, and the writers are just making ridiculous shit happen to keep it interesting.

0

2 months ago

5, entertainment, feel, happen, humor, i, interesting, irony, just, keep, life, making, ridiculous, season, shit, storytelling, writers
Still holding out hope that these intrusive thoughts are just gas.

0

2 months ago

gas, health, holding, hope, humor, intrusive, intrusive thought, joke, just, mental, mental health, mind, self-awareness, still, thought, thoughts
Being single for Valentine’s Day is way better than being in the wrong relationship.

0

2 months ago

being, better, day, freedom, humor, independence, relationship, self-love, single, valentine’s, Valentine’s Day, wrong, wrong relationship

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

🎁🎅🎄 Christmas Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

25 shares on Facebook this month:

Hotel towels are always the worst. So thick and fluffy that I can’t even close my suitcase.

37 shares on TikTok this month:

I don’t believe the phrase “if they wanted to, they would,” because I want to, and I don’t.

53 shares on Threads this month:

Part of fatherhood is becoming an expert in some obscure topic and teaching it to your children who stopped listening 30 minutes ago.

70 shares on WeChat this month:

The potholes in my city will change your radio station and unlock the doors.

50 shares on Slack this month:

Mercury is no longer in retrograde, so never trust a cow because the sun can’t swim.

54 shares on LinkedIn this month:

I think I’m about six months away from the perfect ‘before’ picture.

36 shares on Threads this month:

Dear liars, I hope every pair of pants you own are on fire.

91 shares on Slack this month:

The day your kids stop waking up early on the weekend is the same day your body stops letting you sleep in.

68 shares on Messenger this month:

You just can’t live a full life on an empty stomach.

39 shares on WhatsApp this month:

Can we skip to the rich part?

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇧🇳 has viewed:

Nobody knows what to do with me and I just think that’s beautiful.

Someone from 🇧🇬 has shared:

I’m going back to the 90s, if anyone wants to come.

Someone from 🇬🇹 has downloaded:

Someone asked me what my hobby was and I realized that my favorite hobby is doing absolutely nothing.

Someone from 🇹🇼 has shared:

Do you think the washing machine and the dryer are actual friends or just work friends?

Someone from 🇧🇿 has bookmarked:

It’s almost bed time, so I’ll just check my e-mail, Twitter, Instagram, Facebook, and watch a season of my favorite show on Netflix real quick.

Someone from 🇲🇲 has copied:

My fight or flight response has frequent flyer miles.

Someone from 🇦🇲 has downloaded:

All pants are tear away pants if you’re strong enough.

Someone from 🇨🇭 has viewed:

Having a crush on someone as an adult feels like a humiliation ritual.

Someone from 🇸🇳 has copied:

I either text back right away or never, because I saw your text, replied in my head but forgot to actually type it.

Someone from 🇳🇬 has downloaded:

Stores should accept “I bought this while depressed” as a valid reason for a return.

Social Media Log 💫

Spreading quickly via WhatsApp:

Saturday nights are for watching zombie shows and dreaming about the apocalypse.

Just landed via X:

Therapy isn’t enough. I need to run my brain through the dishwasher.

Making waves on Discord:

Addicted to eating one gigantic meal a day like a reptile.

Spotted on Instagram:

Making a cult with only intuitive introverts so we can all sit in silence, side-eyeing each other suspiciously.

Just landed via Messenger:

I did not “try to rob a bank,” I just “aspired” to obtain more money.

Just shared via Facebook:

JFK is the perfect name for this airport because it’s a bloody headache.

Just shared via Discord:

90% of parenting is wondering when you can lie down again.

Just landed via Facebook:

Sometimes a girl has to delete all the apps on her phone and not speak to anyone for a week to find true happiness.

Seen just now on Slack:

Getting mad at your hair is a whole different kind of angry.

Just landed via WhatsApp:

Wait. We’re now turning plants into burgers? Haven’t cows been doing that like, forever.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

Accept who you are. Unless you’re a serial killer.

Related Funny Posts 🤝

I need you to think about me 23/7. You get 1 hour a day for yourself.

Every time I stand up, my dog gets excited as hell. He understands that I’m a real man who can make shit happen at any given moment.

Laundry has to be the most sinister chore. Always waiting, always lurking.

I feel like I’m in season 5 of my life, and the writers are just making ridiculous shit happen to keep it interesting.

Still holding out hope that these intrusive thoughts are just gas.

Being single for Valentine’s Day is way better than being in the wrong relationship.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨