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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇳🇬 has downloaded:

People who think they know everything are a great annoyance to those of us who do.

Someone from 🇭🇹 has viewed:

I may regret the megabytes I’ve wasted, but I’ll never regret the megabites I’ve tasted.

Someone from 🇰🇷 has bookmarked:

Unpopular Opinion: Die Hard is a Harry Potter movie. He sneaks around a tower at night avoiding Alan Rickman.

Someone from 🇨🇳 has bookmarked:

Shampoo companies need to be clearer when they say “repairs damage”. I cancelled my therapy for nothing.

Someone from 🇸🇷 has shared:

I’ll stop smoking weed when life stops smoking me.

Someone from 🇩🇿 has downloaded:

Since emojis have been around, I finally have a rough idea of how women feel when they don’t know what to wear.

Someone from 🇨🇱 has shared:

The quickest way to double your money is to hold it in front of a mirror.

Someone from 🇯🇲 has bookmarked:

Falling off academically is worse than a heartbreak.

Someone from 🇬🇭 has viewed:

Wanna know a real adult life hack? Don’t tell anyone when you have a day off. Absolutely no one.

Someone from 🇨🇬 has bookmarked:

Please don’t ask me about my dream job. I would never work in my dreams.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

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Funny Quotes Total

15,752

Funny Quotes Topics

17,765

Funny Quotes Images

15,752

Updated

Jan 20, 2026

Users Online

3,728

Social Media Log 💫

Shared recently on Snapchat:

If I had a wife, I’d text her things like, ‘What’s your full name?’ and ‘When’s your birthday?’

Freshly posted on X:

Any place is a walkable city if you’re broke enough.

Seen just now on X:

Hey bro, please stop using all the good skipping rocks at the river.

Spotted on X:

Tupperware is filing for bankruptcy. They would have kept a lid on the news but they couldn’t find one.

Breaking via Instagram:

Next time I feel butterflies, I’m chugging down a bottle of tequila so they drown.

Freshly posted on Twitch:

Life is too short. Tell his mom what he did to you.

Just shared via Threads:

When they make a Hate Island, somebody link me.

Making waves on Instagram:

Don’t ask me for work advice, I’m just going to tell you to quit your job.

Making waves on Messenger:

Mouse in a conference call: hold on, I’m gonna put you on squeakerphone.

Going viral on Messenger:

Uh oh, said somethin’ weird. Better fix it by saying something even weirder.

Accept who you are. Unless you’re a serial killer.

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Commentary:
"Embrace yourself for who you are… unless you have a weird affinity for dark alleys and duct tape. 🔪😅 Remember, it's all fun and games until someone starts collecting trophies! 🏆 #AcceptanceWithLimits"

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Keep the laugh going 😂

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Social Media Stars ⭐

97 shares on Reddit this month:

Livin’ la vida vodka!

24 shares on WeChat this month:

The best thing about the internet is that you’re never the dumbest one here.

90 shares on X this month:

Watched Titanic for the 14th time. Still sobbing. Still yelling, “SCOOT OVER, COW!” like it’ll change the ending.

38 shares on Instagram this month:

Have nothing to say, I just wanted to appear in your newsfeed.

55 shares on X this month:

A marriage is about solving problems together, you know, those problems you wouldn’t have if you were single.

54 shares on TikTok this month:

Can I sell my feelings on ebay, I don’t want them anymore.

14 shares on Telegram this month:

People found guilty of not using punctuation deserve the longest sentence possible.

18 shares on Snapchat this month:

How do I even know this guy is my “boss”? I’ve just been taking his word for it.

76 shares on Snapchat this month:

Before you just FaceTime me randomly, please don’t.

58 shares on LinkedIn this month:

The reason I stay up late is because I don’t want my free time to end, and tomorrow to start.

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes 💥

23 folks are currently checking 👀

This is about the time of year where my enthusiasm about shoveling snow turns into “it will probably melt on it’s own”.

9 folks are currently checking 👀

The answer is a cabin in the woods, by the way.

20 folks are currently checking 👀

The worst thing is finding out the “sweet guy” is just a lustful loser.

18 folks are currently checking 👀

I dropped and broke my phone today. Hurt more than childbirth!

21 folks are currently checking 👀

I was having a great time until I remembered that I was ugly.

23 folks are currently checking 👀

Source? It was revealed to me on my walk.

13 folks are currently checking 👀

Starting my period on election day because I’m a true patriot who bleeds for this country.

16 folks are currently checking 👀

Not all works of art are in a museum. I, for example, am lying on the couch at home.

18 folks are currently checking 👀

Why socialize when you could party inside your room with your 10+ personalities?

20 folks are currently checking 👀

I would just once like to feel as powerful as a toddler throwing their sippy cup whilst sitting atop their high chair.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,752

Funny Quotes Topics

17,765

Funny Quotes Images

15,752

Updated

Jan 20, 2026

Users Online

3,671

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇭🇹 has bookmarked:

I used to have this mental illness, where I thought logical arguments would change someone’s mind.

Someone from 🇩🇪 has bookmarked:

Less is more, unless it’s kindness, sleep, or toilet paper.

Someone from 🇱🇦 has viewed:

Enjoy your 30s, because in your 40s, your first check engine lights come on.

Someone from 🇩🇯 has downloaded:

Don’t worry. You’re exactly where you should be in life. Because you’ve made horrible choices.

Someone from 🇨🇿 has bookmarked:

I came, I saw, I took a selfie as proof that I came and saw.

Someone from 🇬🇾 has downloaded:

Why make new mistakes when you can keep repeating the same old familiar ones.

Someone from 🇸🇰 has shared:

Can’t say “I’m tired” without my mom making it a competition of who is the most tired and who has more reason to be.

Someone from 🇮🇷 has bookmarked:

You don’t even have to date, by the way. You can just take a break from love and then randomly meet the actual love of your life somewhere you weren’t even supposed to be.

Someone from 🇵🇹 has viewed:

I’m just going to be hotter. It’s easier than being nicer.

Someone from 🇵🇰 has downloaded:

I hope Instagram is still active during the apocalypse, so the zombies can post pics of whose brains they’re currently eating.

Social Media Log 💫

Just landed via TikTok:

I’m super lazy today. It’s like normal lazy but I’m wearing a cape.

Spotted on Snapchat:

It’s important to get out of the house every once in a while to get excited about going home.

Trending via Messenger:

I eat cake because it’s somebody’s birthday somewhere.

Going viral on Pinterest:

Coolest part about starting a new job is the immunity to disease you get for 3 months till you get sick days.

Spreading quickly via TikTok:

I hate when someone on a magazine cover stares at me while I eat.

Seen just now on WeChat:

Every time I use a Windows computer, it’s like they built malware into the OS. Like, what do you mean there are ads in the start menu?

Shared recently on Pinterest:

Every Microsoft Teams invite you get lowers your testosterone by 1-2%

Trending via Messenger:

Don’t tell me that everything was better in the past. I was there.

Shared recently on Slack:

When buying presents I like to think, what would Jesus have got you? So yeah, enjoy your fish sandwich.

Going viral on Threads:

I once had a psychic girlfriend, she left me before we met.

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