Trending Funny Quotes 👇

  • Shorts should be half the price of pants.
  • If I got possessed demonically, I wouldn’t even notice it. With everything else I’ve got going on.
  • The way time stretches between the moment you put your hands under the air dryer and the realization it is in fact a paper towel dispenser.
  • If I block you and you email me, you’re getting another chance.
  • If it turns cold one more time, I’m gonna put the Christmas tree back up.
  • Sometimes I wonder what happened to the people who asked me for directions.