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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇩🇿 has viewed:

The umbrella was going to be called brella, but the inventor hesitated.

Someone from 🇲🇰 has copied:

The best cuddles are the ones where you don’t have to deflate her when you’re done.

Someone from 🇮🇱 has copied:

All income is disposable if you’re brave enough.

Someone from 🇪🇬 has viewed:

Instead of renting an apartment, I’m going to save up for a lighthouse and go insane in it.

Someone from 🇧🇪 has copied:

The most valuable breed of cow are the Cash.

Someone from 🇩🇿 has shared:

Petition to bring back payphones in public places. I don’t want to give my kid a phone, I want to give him a quarter.

Someone from 🇵🇦 has bookmarked:

Church should be less preachy and more eat-y.

Someone from 🇦🇹 has viewed:

I hate to brag but I excel at my faults.

Someone from 🇵🇼 has bookmarked:

Dear recipe websites. I don’t need your life story. Just give me the recipe.

Someone from 🇿🇲 has copied:

I need one of those jobs they have in sitcoms, where it pays my rent but interferes with exactly zero of my social plans or situations.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

766 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,928

Funny Quotes Topics

13,900

Funny Quotes Images

10,928

38 minutes ago

3,437

Social Media Log 💫

Breaking via TikTok:

Did it hurt when you forgot your headphones and couldn’t romanticize your walk home?

Shared recently on Messenger:

Mister Sandman, bring me a meme. Make it the dumbest shit that I’ve ever seen.

Going viral on YouTube:

HR has told me to stop saying ‘How stupid can you be?’ to members of staff. They’re worried it’s being taken as a challenge.

Freshly posted on Slack:

Checked myself, but unfortunately, after I wrecked myself.

Breaking via WhatsApp:

Facial recognition technology, but for me when I’m talking to people I’ve apparently met before.

Freshly posted on Twitch:

If you want to make your mother proud, make her my mother-in-law.

Going viral on WhatsApp:

When you said “let’s circle back to that in the new year” and now it’s the new year.

Going viral on LinkedIn:

Sorry I’m late, I believed the washing machine when it said it only had one minute left in the cycle.

Shared recently on TikTok:

Have y’all tried calories? They’re so good.

Seen just now on Slack:

If you were the birthday gift I bought my wife some months ago, where would you be hiding?

Sometimes I wonder what happened to the people who asked me for directions.

6 months ago

Sometimes I wonder what happened to the people who asked me for directions.

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Commentary:
"Oh, the lost souls who sought my guidance… are they still journeying through life in circles? 🤔🚶‍♂️ May they have found their way by now, or are they still in the eternal maze of confusion? 😄🗺️ Remember: when in doubt, just follow the nearest confused person – they might just lead you to your destination! 🤪🧭"

confusion, directions, humor, i, irony, lost, me, people, travel, wonder

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

New Funny Quotes

Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

Trending Topics 📁

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

766 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,928

Funny Quotes Topics

13,900

Funny Quotes Images

10,928

38 minutes ago

3,438

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇬🇪 has copied:

Not to brag, but I’ve seen Barbie naked.

Someone from 🇰🇳 has bookmarked:

The most expensive clothing you’ll ever wear is a hospital gown.

Someone from 🇸🇩 has viewed:

I like running because it’s cheaper than paying for a gym membership. If the gym wants the money I owe them, they’ll have to catch me.

Someone from 🇰🇷 has shared:

If pigeons and chickens made a tribe, would they be called the coo clucks clan?

Someone from 🇧🇫 has shared:

There’s a fat man inside me dying to get out.

Someone from 🇨🇦 has viewed:

Looking for someone to take to couples therapy and see how long it takes the therapist to notice we don’t know each other.

Someone from 🇹🇲 has bookmarked:

I want a girlfriend so hot that people walking down the street know that I am funny.

Someone from 🇦🇿 has viewed:

They should invent a situationship that turns into something beautiful.

Someone from 🇵🇪 has viewed:

If Spotify has taught me anything, it’s that I don’t know the correct lyrics to any of my favorite songs.

Someone from 🇧🇭 has bookmarked:

As you get older you become all of the seven dwarfs.

Social Media Log 💫

Shared recently on Twitch:

Before the internet, people thought that there was only one idiot per town. We were so wrong.

Live now on YouTube:

I’m not shy. I just don’t like you.

Just shared via Threads:

I will selflessly protect my family from a life of diabetes by eating all the sweets myself.

Going viral on Discord:

I’m like a candle: I’m cute, I smell nice, and there’s a pretty good chance I’ll set your curtains on fire if left unattended.

Freshly posted on Messenger:

This cop is parked illegally behind me with his lights on. I’m going to say something.

Spotted on Twitch:

Whenever someone asks me if my dog is adopted I respond with, “no, she’s biologically mine.”

Live now on Telegram:

I don’t wanna start the year with any negativity so if you and I have had issues in the past, apologize to me immediately.

Freshly posted on Messenger:

A big part of my job as a parent is moving things away from the edges of countertops.

Just landed via Messenger:

I am not responsible for what my face does when you talk.

Spotted on Twitch:

And for my next trick, I’m going to make this first date the last date.

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