Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇪🇷 has viewed:

I can relate to God because it also takes me a full week to finish something that still kind of sucks.

Someone from 🇩🇰 has downloaded:

Having little kids is great because I love spending hundreds of dollars each week to feed my floor and my trash can.

Someone from 🇶🇦 has copied:

Ctrl Alt delete my fat.

Someone from 🇲🇬 has bookmarked:

Getting to know someone these days is impossible. No one is really single, everyone has something going on, is hung up on their ex or is otherwise damaged in some way.

Someone from 🇨🇦 has viewed:

Oh, him? He’s my insignificant other.

Someone from 🇷🇺 has bookmarked:

Being single past 30 is like playing hide and seek, except no one is looking for you.

Someone from 🇱🇾 has shared:

I’m convinced that if Earth explodes, all the cats will land safely on the moon, on their feet.

Someone from 🇷🇺 has shared:

I don’t always listen to Metallica, but when I do, so do my neighbors.

Someone from 🇧🇷 has copied:

Drive as I say, not as I drive.

Someone from 🇪🇹 has downloaded:

Sometimes nature makes art, like trees, waterfalls, and the human butt.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

219 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,488

Funny Quotes Topics

17,559

Funny Quotes Images

15,488

Updated

Jan 5, 2026

Users Online

3,400

Social Media Log 💫

Trending via Telegram:

Becoming a man doesn’t happen the first time you fight or make love. It happens the first time you see the gas bill and remind everyone that we aren’t trying to heat the outside.

Trending via TikTok:

It’s a good thing that our phones only convey sight and sound. No offense, but from most of you I would never want to receive a smelfie!

Freshly posted on Snapchat:

I’d like to know what my dog is thinking as he watches me try one outfit after another while getting ready for a party.

Going viral on X:

Of course women need more pockets, where are we supposed to hold all of our grudges?

Just landed via TikTok:

Every night at bedtime I do one small ritual: six hours on my cell phone.

Shared recently on Slack:

Where do I see myself in 5 years? I don’t even know where I am right now.

Spreading quickly via LinkedIn:

I don’t usually think about what I say before I say it. I prefer to think about it after I’ve said it, late at night, for the rest of my life.

Going viral on YouTube:

I’m not super into getting older but I do like how nobody asks me to help them move anymore.

Freshly posted on Messenger:

I love sleeping in fishnets. Makes you feel like a big honey roast ham.

Seen just now on Messenger:

I hate when flies rub their disgusting little hands together. What could you possibly be plotting? You can’t even get out of the open window.

Almost all of my bad decisions are food-related.

2 months ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
"Same here—my taste buds are the real decision-makers! 🍕😂🥨"

almost, bad, bad decision, decision, decisions, eating, food, humor, lifestyle, relatable, self-deprecating

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Some people are so fake, their lock screens don’t recognize them.

0

2 months ago

authenticity, fake, humor, identity, lock, lock screen, media, people, recognition, screen, social, social media, technology
My nickname in high school was “who?”

0

2 months ago

high, high school, humor, identity, memory, nickname, school, self-deprecation
May he drop his phone on his face while he’s texting other girls.

0

2 months ago

accident, dating, drop, embarrassment, face, funny moment, girls, humor, media, moment, phone, prank, social, social media, texting
Nothing makes me feel more powerful than when I write ‘furthermore’ in an email.

0

5 months ago

communication, confidence, email, feel, furthermore, humor, i, me, nothing, power, powerful, writing
Have you ever just restarted the dryer because you didn’t feel like folding the clothes yet?

0

2 months ago

chore, clothes, dryer, ever, feel, folding, household, household chore, just, laundry, procrastination, restart
I want a pet eagle that’s trained to steal people’s sandwiches for me.

0

2 months ago

animal, eagle, food, humor, i, me, pet, sandwich, steal, training, want

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

45 shares on WhatsApp this month:

Hey, can I get an ETA on that “this too shall pass”?

91 shares on Threads this month:

Once I see a vein on your forehead while we arguing, I’ll let you be.

69 shares on Threads this month:

My life is simple, I see a queue of more than 6 people, I go home.

78 shares on WeChat this month:

Does bisexual mean twice as sexual or once every other sexual?

63 shares on Slack this month:

Meetings are a wonderful way to help your employees take a break from being productive.

72 shares on Reddit this month:

Love is in the air, but so is the flu. Wash your hands!

38 shares on X this month:

Breaking News: No matter how close you are with your colleagues, never discuss your personal matters at work. Neverrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr.

81 shares on Telegram this month:

Homeless man just called me a “loser,” and I showed him my house keys.

36 shares on WeChat this month:

“What’s wrong with you?” Right now or in general?

45 shares on Facebook this month:

Considering joining a cult just for the subsidized housing.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇱🇰 has downloaded:

Oh good. Another day.

Someone from 🇲🇬 has shared:

My fitness goal is to lose two straight jacket sizes.

Someone from 🇲🇹 has bookmarked:

Hate when you’re trying to take a nap and the dentist is all “Please open your mouth.”

Someone from 🇬🇧 has viewed:

I had the most impatient and rudest cashier. I’m never using self-checkout again.

Someone from 🇸🇱 has downloaded:

If you pass out in front of your kids they will either try to call an ambulance or use you as a trampoline. You just don’t know.

Someone from 🇧🇭 has shared:

Regrettably, my children appear to have befriended a child I find annoying.

Someone from 🇰🇮 has shared:

Ho, ho, holy shit is Christmas stressful.

Someone from 🇮🇸 has bookmarked:

I’m buysexual, you buy me food, I become sexual.

Someone from 🇫🇲 has viewed:

Not to brag, but I finished an entire book in one sitting. I’m going to need some new crayons.

Someone from 🇹🇹 has shared:

My save-for-later cart on Amazon is up to about $1.5 million dollars.

Social Media Log 💫

Just shared via Instagram:

Sex is cool, but have you ever found an academic article that fits your research topic perfectly and supports all of your claims?

Spotted on Discord:

I usually start exploring the abyss around 7 p.m.

Just landed via Snapchat:

Know what goes good with beer? Another one.

Just shared via Snapchat:

Nothing says entitlement like a goose family crossing the road.

Spreading quickly via Reddit:

Me pulling into a full parking lot: Don’t these people have homes?

Live now on Threads:

I may forget what I opened the fridge for but I remember every time anyone has ever wronged me.

Seen just now on LinkedIn:

Newborns cry because they’re being evicted.

Just landed via YouTube:

Break-up so bad, he blocked me on Pokémon Go.

Going viral on Threads:

The most avoidant man you know is somewhere telling someone he’s a lover boy.

Seen just now on LinkedIn:

“I asked ChatGPT.” “I asked Grok.” Yeah, well, I just analyzed it from a Marxist perspective, and it was pretty obvious.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

Almost all of my bad decisions are food-related.

Related Funny Quotes 🤝

Some people are so fake, their lock screens don’t recognize them.

My nickname in high school was “who?”

May he drop his phone on his face while he’s texting other girls.

Nothing makes me feel more powerful than when I write ‘furthermore’ in an email.

Have you ever just restarted the dryer because you didn’t feel like folding the clothes yet?

I want a pet eagle that’s trained to steal people’s sandwiches for me.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨