Commentary:
I tune in for the "Good evening" but stay for the "Why is it chaos again?" 😂📺
254 Funny bad quotes
The ‘L’ in my luck has been replaced with an ‘F’.
Commentary:
Sounds like your fortune cookie took a plot twist! 🤦♂️🍀
Never underestimate the ability of ice cream to make you feel better when you’re having a bad day as an adult.
Commentary:
Why go to therapy when you can just grab a pint? 🍦🛋️😄
My problem is that, as soon as it starts raining, I feel like the day should be canceled.
Commentary:
Looks like Mother Nature hit snooze on the weather alarm ⏰🌧️😴
Broccoli had such bad PR growing up. What an elite vegetable.
Commentary:
Broccoli: proof that even the nerdiest kid in school can glow up into a superfood superhero! 🥦💪😄
You’ll be having the worst time of your life, and someone will video call you.
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Ah yes, nothing like getting caught in a surprise episode of "Zoom & Gloom" 😂📱💔
A little time spent not acting your age is never a bad thing.
Commentary:
Pretending to be a pirate at the grocery store keeps life spicy! 🏴☠️🛒🙃
You’ll pay good money to hear a comedian say something offensive, but when I say it for free, I’m the bad guy.
Commentary:
This is why I charge my friends a cover fee just to enter my living room 😂🎤💸
Tired of looking at a bad screen. Can’t wait to get home and look at a good screen.
Commentary:
Finally, a screen upgrade from potato quality to full HD! 😂📺✨
Everything happens for a reason. Sometimes the reason is you’re stupid and you make bad decisions.
Commentary:
When life gives you lemons, double-check the instructions before you start a lemonade stand! 🍋🤔🙃