Wordgag ツ

Commentary:
"Looks like someone's got a 'killer' sense of humor 😂💨 Just remember, a true friend will never let you suffer alone in the gas-filled trenches! #FartingForAFriend"

asking, conversation, evening, fart, friend, humor, joking, social

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

God: “You can’t just say ‘Goddammit!’ and expect Me to damn it. There’s a procedure. File the paperwork.”

2 months ago

divine, expectation, frustration, God, humor, irony, just, me, paperwork, procedure, say
I just bought a universal remote. This changes everything.

4 months ago

change, changes, control, electronics, everything, humor, i, joke, just, pun, remote, remote control, technology, universal, universal remote
So many mistakes to make, so little time.

2 months ago

decision, humor, irony, life, little, mistake, mistakes, opportunity, procrastination, time
“Be the bigger person” sounds too much like “accept the disrespect”.

2 months ago

accept, bigger, bigger person, disrespect, growth, humor, irony, much, person, personal, personal growth, self-respect, sounds, too
I’m bad at being sad. Three mins later, I’m making jokes about my situation.

2 months ago

bad, being, coping, coping mechanism, emotion, health, humor, joke, jokes, later, making, mechanism, mental, mental health, mood, sad, sadness, self-awareness, situation, three
Why is being alive so expensive? I’m not even having a good time.

2 months ago

alive, being, cost, even, expensive, experience, good, good time, having, humor, irony, life, time

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

26 shares on Threads this month:

It’d be nice if my bank account filled up as quickly as my laundry basket.

15 shares on WhatsApp this month:

Only people who grew up before the internet will remember these: spelling, grammar and punctuation.

28 shares on Facebook this month:

I love putting on warm underwear fresh out of the dryer. Plus, it’s fun to look around the laundromat and guess who they belong to.

36 shares on TikTok this month:

When I say I’m saving myself for marriage, what I mean is you won’t know how annoying I am until it’s too late.

60 shares on Discord this month:

Nothing in a household is said more lovingly than, “Can you bring me some toilet paper?”

83 shares on Instagram this month:

Why do my kids have Veteran’s Day off, they haven’t done shit.

35 shares on Instagram this month:

I named my eraser Confidence because it gets smaller after every mistake I make.

26 shares on WhatsApp this month:

All this suffering on earth because someone ate an apple once.

62 shares on Discord this month:

I’m getting targeted ads about chin fat and I’m offended by the relevance.

88 shares on WeChat this month:

Jesus spent his time among the mentally ill, the poor and unemployed, the prostitutes. So, in a way, by being on Twitter, we’re like Jesus.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇨🇬 has copied:

“I’m not falling for that again,” I say, as I’m about to fall for whatever that is again.

Someone from 🇿🇼 has downloaded:

Men used to go to war, now they want to be the little spoon.

Someone from 🇸🇾 has copied:

I don’t do exercise because one time I kneed myself in the face doing a burpee.

Someone from 🇲🇺 has copied:

Does running actually get easier if you do it a lot, or is it that you just get more masochistic?

Someone from 🇮🇳 has shared:

I have an emotional support chicken roasting in the oven.

Someone from 🇳🇿 has shared:

have one of those big paintings with the eyeholes cut out, but I don’t have anyone to spy on, so I just watch TV through it.

Someone from 🇹🇱 has downloaded:

The word “misread” can be misread as “misread.”

Someone from 🇬🇳 has viewed:

I like to keep my wife guessing by walking around the backyard carrying a ladder and a chainsaw.

Someone from 🇧🇼 has copied:

90% of parenting is just thinking about when you can lie down again.

Someone from 🇲🇦 has copied:

I told you so. Kind regards, your gut feeling.

Social Media Log 💫

Just landed via Pinterest:

Putting together a piece of furniture today, so my kids are about to learn swear words that haven’t even been invented yet.

Trending via Instagram:

I need a long hot meteor shower.

Just landed via Discord:

(Talking to myself) I just don’t know what to tell you.

Spreading quickly via Reddit:

I bet aliens lock their door when they go past earth.

Broadcasted on Snapchat:

“Try it all before you die” is always drugs and sex, never quantum physics.

Live now on X:

If I say “with all due respect,” nothing respectful is about to come out of my mouth.

Just shared via Pinterest:

I’m optimistic, in a pessimistic way.

Going bananas on WhatsApp:

I need to stop saying “Oppa Gagnam Style!” to fill in awkward pauses in conversation.

Spotted on Twitch:

I’m naturally funny cause my whole life is a joke.

Making waves on X:

The belief that software engineers are uniquely intelligent has done unimaginable damage on society.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

Anybody else not stopped farting this evening? Asking for a friend.

Related Funny Posts 🤝

God: “You can’t just say ‘Goddammit!’ and expect Me to damn it. There’s a procedure. File the paperwork.”

I just bought a universal remote. This changes everything.

So many mistakes to make, so little time.

“Be the bigger person” sounds too much like “accept the disrespect”.

I’m bad at being sad. Three mins later, I’m making jokes about my situation.

Why is being alive so expensive? I’m not even having a good time.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨