Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇲🇷 has shared:

Adulting: unlocking life’s mysteries, one therapy session at a time.

Someone from 🇮🇩 has viewed:

A real smartphone would know when to shut up.

Someone from 🇦🇹 has shared:

So many true crime podcasts are just like “a young woman went missing, the police took a week to respond, she was last seen with a man the community call Creepy Steve, he has never been questioned”

Someone from 🇧🇫 has viewed:

I can’t wait to see my older sister so she can point out I have more gray hair than she does.

Someone from 🇨🇷 has shared:

The difference between the Olympic village and a normal village is that not everyone in the Olympic village is related to each other.

Someone from 🇧🇴 has shared:

I just need to get over everything that has happened to me in my entire life and then we can hang out.

Someone from 🇹🇯 has downloaded:

Can you check if my lips taste like cherries?

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

330 this month

Funny Quotes Total

14,923

Funny Quotes Topics

17,095

Funny Quotes Images

14,923

Updated

Dec 12, 2025

Users Online

4,006

Social Media Log 💫

Making waves on LinkedIn:

Who called it a deep freeze instead of ice-o-lation?

Freshly posted on Telegram:

Sitting with my legs really wide to experiment with gender.

Going viral on Telegram:

The new generation will never know what heartbreak feels like with wired headphones that have a loose connection.

Just landed via Reddit:

Netflix subtitles be like “speaking foreign language”. Bro, translate it!

Spotted on Messenger:

No more learning experiences, please, God. I am smart enough.

Going viral on Snapchat:

Imagine if we had to worry about dinosaurs too, on top of everything else.

Just landed via TikTok:

My worst fear is looking out my window at night, and someone looking right at me.

Anything is an appetizer if you eat more food after.

1 month ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
"Ah, the perfect logic to justify ordering another round of dessert! 🍰🍧 Who needs a main course anyway? 😄 #AlwaysRoomForMore"

after, anything, appetizer, eat, eating, food, humor, logic, meal, portions, snack

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

The last time I said I wanted to try missionary, she sent me to a remote village in Africa.

1 month ago
adventure, Africa, humor, i, last, me, missionary, relationship, remote, remote village, time, travel, try, village, wanted
Marriage is 33.3% hiding to eat snacks because you and your spouse are supposed to be on a diet.

1 month ago
diet, eat, hiding, humor, marriage, relationship, snacks, spouse
The potholes in my city will change your radio station and unlock the doors.

1 month ago
change, city, doors, driving, humor, pothole, radio, station, transportation
At this point, if I get picked up by aliens, I’m just gonna go ahead and consider it a rescue mission instead of an abduction.

3 months ago
abduction, ahead, alien, alien abduction, alien rescue, aliens, consider, extraterrestrial, humor, i, joke, just, mission, picked, point, rescue, rescue mission
Doctors diagnosed me as your future wife.

1 month ago
diagnose, doctor, doctors, future, humor, marriage, me, relationship, wife
I’m kind of excited about the apocalypse. I would love to eat a basement full of food.

1 month ago
apocalypse, basement, eat, eating, excited, food, humor, i, irony, love, survival

New Funny Quotes

Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇹🇩 has bookmarked:

Bruschetta is 80% delicious and 20% mess.

Someone from 🇺🇦 has copied:

Typing in your email address on the TV is a different type of irritation.

Someone from 🇭🇺 has viewed:

I’m an expert at having a really funny story to tell and then wording it so badly that it’s not even funny anymore.

Someone from 🇲🇾 has viewed:

Used dark mode so much that I became physically repulsed when I see a white screen.

Someone from 🇧🇩 has copied:

Has anyone seen my invisibility cloak?

Someone from 🇨🇾 has copied:

Unless I ask, I genuinely don’t care to hear other people’s opinions on my life. It’s almost a pet peeve, really.

Someone from 🇳🇮 has bookmarked:

There are rumors that someone came down the chimney last night. This is preposterous. I would have lost my mind.

Social Media Log 💫

Spotted on X:

We need a holiday at the end of every summer that honours all the women who wore sundresses.

Shared recently on Reddit:

On the whole, people are getting smarter. I remember when they had to put “The End” on the screen, so people would know the movie was over.

Trending via Twitch:

Everyone is gangster until they’re asked to reveal a “fun fact” about themself as part of a work event icebreaker.

Breaking via Reddit:

Every girl keeps an extra boyfriend and calls him ‘best friend’.

Freshly posted on Facebook:

What substance do I have to abuse to stop yearning?

Spotted on X:

I put my pants on just like everybody else: when the police tell me to.

Broadcasted on Reddit:

Born to say “Who the hell raised you to be this stupid.” Forced to work in groups.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

Anything is an appetizer if you eat more food after.

The last time I said I wanted to try missionary, she sent me to a remote village in Africa.

Marriage is 33.3% hiding to eat snacks because you and your spouse are supposed to be on a diet.

The potholes in my city will change your radio station and unlock the doors.

At this point, if I get picked up by aliens, I’m just gonna go ahead and consider it a rescue mission instead of an abduction.

Doctors diagnosed me as your future wife.

I’m kind of excited about the apocalypse. I would love to eat a basement full of food.

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

I should’ve been a crow. They get to fly around looking goth as hell and seeking retribution. Instead, I have to go to an office and work on my ‘people skills.’

If you are lonely, dim all lights and put on a horror movie. After a while it won’t feel like you are alone anymore.

I’m only awake because my coffee needs me.

No, I am not refreshed from my long weekend. I was reminded that I am not meant to work, but I am trapped in The Machine.

When I’m not posting or returning messages, just know that I’m probably out doing superhero shit.

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

No plans and no pants kind of day.

Seems like the ‘how to use a fire extinguisher’ video on YouTube shouldn’t have a 30-second ad before it.

Fun fact: the creator of Barbie and the creator of Hot Wheels were husband and wife.

I’m literally overstimulated with life. I need to scream on top of a mountain.

I have been touched inappropriately by the sun today.

Trending Topics 📁

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Tequila won’t fix your life, but it’s worth a shot.

A foghorn but for people who can’t see through their own bullshit.

You never realize what you have until it’s gone. Toilet paper is a good example.

You just can’t live a full life on an empty stomach.

I’m an over-explainer (I explain things too much).

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Nothing is complicated when you’re simple-minded like me.

I hope none of the people I vowed to “help hide a body” ever actually need my help.

I just think we should kiss. And kiss and kiss and kiss and kiss and kiss. But that’s just me.

That awesome moment when you open the fridge and the first thing you see is the thing you wanted to eat.

Roses are red. I’m going to bed.

Activity Log ✨

Share Wordgag 🙏

Activity Log ✨

Anything is an appetizer if you eat more food after.

Related Funny Posts 🤝

The last time I said I wanted to try missionary, she sent me to a remote village in Africa.

Marriage is 33.3% hiding to eat snacks because you and your spouse are supposed to be on a diet.

The potholes in my city will change your radio station and unlock the doors.

At this point, if I get picked up by aliens, I’m just gonna go ahead and consider it a rescue mission instead of an abduction.

Doctors diagnosed me as your future wife.

I’m kind of excited about the apocalypse. I would love to eat a basement full of food.

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

Trending Topics 📁

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Share Wordgag 🙏