Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇺🇾 has downloaded:

Satan: “Would you please stop sacrificing animals to me. I’m not running a zoo down here.”

Someone from 🇲🇺 has bookmarked:

Someone is probably in the worst argument of their life right now. LOL!

Someone from 🇰🇼 has shared:

People will name their dog Steve and have two kids named Buddy and Rocket.

Someone from 🇸🇷 has shared:

Might quit my job to focus on actually putting away my laundry.

Someone from 🇬🇲 has bookmarked:

First date idea: we deactivate your Instagram.

Someone from 🇵🇪 has shared:

You never realize what you have until it’s gone. Toilet paper is a good example.

Someone from 🇹🇭 has bookmarked:

People on diet aren’t mad at you. They’re mad at their lunch.

Someone from 🇪🇪 has copied:

Someone at my job mentioned severance, and I was like, “Oh my God, I love that show,” and they said, “No, I’m about to get fired.”

Someone from 🇺🇿 has downloaded:

November is for turtlenecks and depression.

Someone from 🇪🇷 has bookmarked:

Odd—my boss told me to meet him at the abandoned quarry at midnight for my performance evaluation.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

233 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,502

Funny Quotes Topics

17,569

Funny Quotes Images

15,502

Updated

Jan 6, 2026

Users Online

3,487

Social Media Log 💫

Spotted on LinkedIn:

8 pm to 10 pm on a weeknight is the shortest that two hours can possibly be.

Broadcasted on YouTube:

Career anxiety hitting at random hours of the day.

Making waves on TikTok:

Do mens sneezes get louder and louder as they age until they explode?

Going viral on Discord:

You can fake an American accent all you want, but “literally” will expose you.

Going bananas on Pinterest:

I don’t drink alcohol. I like suffering raw.

Just landed via YouTube:

Anyone want to fall in love and split rent?

Shared recently on Telegram:

Introverts don’t recharge with sleep, we recharge by being left completely alone for 3–5 business days.

Freshly posted on Reddit:

Starting tomorrow whatever life throws at me, I’m ducking so it hits someone else.

Making waves on Slack:

Waiting in the grocery store parking lot for the rotisserie chickens to be ready. The thrill of the hunt.

Are there cheat codes for parenting teenagers? This level is really hard.

2 months ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
Parenting teenagers: the ultimate boss level with zero save points and lots of emotional damage 🎮😅👾

cheat, cheat code, code, codes, difficulty, game, hard, humor, level, parenting, teenager, teenagers, video, video game

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

A large group of people is called an “eww, no thank you”

0

2 months ago

eww, gathering, group, humor, people, social, thank, thank you
The price of groceries has gotten me thinking about what acorns taste like.

0

2 months ago

acorns, budgeting, economics, food, grocery, humor, me, price, taste, thinking
Trust my gut? The thing that can’t even handle milk.

0

5 months ago

digestion, even, gut, handle, humor, milk, thing, trust
I’m sorry you had a bad experience at our restaurant. To make it up to you, here is a coupon for more of our terrible, terrible food.

0

2 months ago

apology, bad, bad experience, coupon, customer, customer service, experience, food, here, humor, restaurant, service, sorry, terrible, terrible food
I don’t give people directions. What if no one wants them there?

0

5 months ago

advice, directions, give, humor, i, navigation, people, sarcasm, wants
I want you to know that whatever problems you’re having, I’m hear to ‘like’ them.

0

2 months ago

empathy, friendship, hear, humor, i, know, problems, support, want

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

94 shares on YouTube this month:

Getting an entry-level job before the release of ChatGPT in 2022 was like taking the last chopper out of Vietnam. Few realize this yet.

42 shares on WeChat this month:

Work from home ain’t for everyone. I, for one, hate when my coworkers try to message when I’m shopping.

25 shares on Facebook this month:

Vaginally speaking, he seems nice.

76 shares on WhatsApp this month:

Exorcist came by. Says house isn’t possessed, just incredibly poorly built.

71 shares on Discord this month:

Working your entire life so you can ‘enjoy’ a couple of years when you’re close to death is the biggest scam of all time.

54 shares on Snapchat this month:

I am grateful for my experiences. I just didn’t need them all.

57 shares on Discord this month:

Being bilingual means stuttering in both languages.

99 shares on Threads this month:

I dropped and broke my phone today. Hurt more than childbirth!

60 shares on WhatsApp this month:

I wanted to sleep it off, but insomnia said, “Not tonight, buddy.”

97 shares on Snapchat this month:

Every man learns for himself the uselessness of owning an iPad.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇱🇨 has shared:

Forget tequila, I’m at the age where you can wake up with a hangover from Netflix.

Someone from 🇪🇹 has bookmarked:

Having to pee when you’re driving is problematic. Having to sneeze when you’re driving is even more problematic.

Someone from 🇵🇪 has copied:

A 20% discount sounds great until you realize you can’t afford the other 80%

Someone from 🇮🇸 has downloaded:

Best threesome: me, my bed and my pillow.

Someone from 🇬🇩 has shared:

Did you seriously just pique my interest?

Someone from 🇸🇲 has shared:

It’s so crazy how people are never down to just go get a burger. It didn’t used to be like this.

Someone from 🇱🇹 has shared:

The shrooms told me that we need to get our shit together. That humanity is a bundle of bad habits. I’m headed back in a few weeks, and they need a response from us. What do I tell them?

Someone from 🇧🇷 has copied:

Someone asked, “Can I bum a scroll?” because they deleted Instagram off their phone.

Someone from 🇷🇼 has shared:

Realizing this yogurt I’m eating is more active and cultured than I am.

Someone from 🇵🇬 has shared:

I feel bad for those that don’t enjoy their own company. I be having a ball by myself.

Social Media Log 💫

Freshly posted on Facebook:

The older I get, the more I realize that being rushed by someone is a form of manipulation.

Just landed via Twitch:

I will never forget when my dad had a guy from Verizon call me in middle school to tell me that I was using more data than Obama and that I need to stop.

Seen just now on Threads:

Waiting until 4:59 p.m. on Fridays to send an email, because any response is Monday’s problem.

Going viral on WeChat:

They say 30 is the new 20, and 40 the new 30. All I know is 9 p.m. is the new midnight.

Just landed via Discord:

Always keep a bottle of wine in the fridge for special occasions. Like Wednesday.

Making waves on Threads:

Somehow I picked the worst possible decade to try to have a career.

Just landed via Slack:

Nice tweets, bro. What medications are you on?

Shared recently on Twitch:

Buying new glasses this week, so a whole bunch of you are about to get a whole lot uglier.

Live now on Snapchat:

I just paid my taxes. The roads should be fixed any day now.

Going bananas on Reddit:

Do you also watch porn until the end to see if they end up getting married?

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

Are there cheat codes for parenting teenagers? This level is really hard.

Related Funny Posts 🤝

A large group of people is called an “eww, no thank you”

The price of groceries has gotten me thinking about what acorns taste like.

Trust my gut? The thing that can’t even handle milk.

I’m sorry you had a bad experience at our restaurant. To make it up to you, here is a coupon for more of our terrible, terrible food.

I don’t give people directions. What if no one wants them there?

I want you to know that whatever problems you’re having, I’m hear to ‘like’ them.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨