Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇧🇪 has downloaded:

Life is so funny because you think you look good today and a year later you look even better.

Someone from 🇧🇬 has downloaded:

One day you’re young and fun and the next you’re searching “Thanksgiving recipes that won’t cause heartburn.”

Someone from 🇷🇺 has shared:

I met my wife at a singles night. I was surprised as I thought she was at home with the kids.

Someone from 🇧🇳 has downloaded:

Had an interview today, and my belly rumbled. The lady goes, “Missed lunch?” I told her, “Nah, I’m hungry for success!”

Someone from 🇱🇨 has viewed:

Don’t rush me, I’m still deciding whether I’ll be productive or not today!

Someone from 🇱🇨 has copied:

I like to minimize the disappointment by being myself right from the start.

Someone from 🇯🇵 has bookmarked:

Don’t go chasing waterfalls? The place where many video games hide easter eggs and other rare items?

Someone from 🇨🇺 has shared:

“Devil’s advocate” implies the existence of heaven’s prosecutor.

Someone from 🇳🇬 has shared:

Guy smoking weed daily: “I think smoking weed in moderation is fine.”

Someone from 🇨🇺 has viewed:

If I had a wife, I’d text her things like, ‘What’s your full name?’ and ‘When’s your birthday?’

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

0 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,269

Funny Quotes Topics

17,387

Funny Quotes Images

15,269

Updated

Dec 31, 2025

Users Online

3,359

Social Media Log 💫

Seen just now on Reddit:

Me: trying to rest. Earthquake: Let’s make that a no.

Making waves on Threads:

Going back on a dating app is the new walk of shame.

Spreading quickly via WhatsApp:

Eating the rest of the donuts will keep me from eating donuts tomorrow. My logic is flawless.

Shared recently on Instagram:

50% of parenting is just trying to decide if that noise is worth walking up all of those stairs.

Going viral on Twitch:

No more learning experiences, please, God. I am smart enough.

Trending via Instagram:

Doctors diagnosed me as your future wife.

Seen just now on Pinterest:

I’m going to need to speak with the flowers about this.

Going viral on YouTube:

Sorry I zoned out during your story… my brain was offering me multiple side quests and overthinking opportunities.

Going viral on Telegram:

Using my one phone call to call Santa.

Broadcasted on Snapchat:

If you sit down to play a game of chess and your opponent punches you in the face, you’re not going to prevail by getting better at chess.

“Are you free tomorrow?” No, tomorrow I’m still expensive.

2 months ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
"Sorry, can't downgrade my worth even for a day! 💁‍♀️💸 #sorrynotsorry"

conversation, cost, date, expense, expensive, free, humor, still, tomorrow

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

I’m so lazy that I’ll break my tooth trying to get this tag off before I get up and get a scissor.

0

2 months ago

break, effort, get up, humor, i, lazy, scissor, tag, tooth, trying
Moose would have been a better name for a cow.

0

2 months ago

animal, better, cow, humor, moose, name
Social media is proof that even mental hospitals have WiFi.

0

2 months ago

even, hospital, humor, irony, media, mental, mental hospital, proof, social, social media, technology, wifi
Regrettably, my children appear to have befriended a child I find annoying.

0

2 months ago

annoying, appear, child, children, friend, friendship, humor, i, parenting, regret
She is so narcissistic that her narcissism has narcissism.

0

2 months ago

ego, humor, love, narcissism, obsession, self, self-love, self-obsession
Calling someone a “tough cookie” isn’t a compliment, tough cookies are literally the worst cookies.

0

2 months ago

baking, calling, compliment, cookie, food, food humor, humor, irony, someone, tough, tough cookie, worst, worst cookie

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

🎉🥂 New Year Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

89 shares on Slack this month:

When I write “I hope this email finds you well” I’m referring to the email’s skills in tracking you down.

90 shares on TikTok this month:

Liking someone romantically is actually just a humiliation ritual.

26 shares on Threads this month:

My favorite sex position is any of them. I’m just glad to be involved.

83 shares on Pinterest this month:

Whoever named frogs got it 100% right. Those things are frogs.

61 shares on Telegram this month:

You’re an adult if you’re happy every time the mailbox is empty.

26 shares on Facebook this month:

Men used to go to war, now they drinking matcha.

32 shares on Instagram this month:

My tombstone will read “Hey there, I’m using WhatsApp!”.

51 shares on Twitch this month:

Follow your dreams – ideally in a field that will still require humans when you graduate.

52 shares on TikTok this month:

Potatoes make French fries, chips and vodka. It’s like the other vegetables aren’t even trying.

94 shares on Threads this month:

Getting a boner because the Lego instructions are telling me what to do.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇫🇮 has shared:

I just want someone who can see through all my bullshit and hate me for who I really am.

Someone from 🇲🇷 has copied:

There’s no need to put a little umbrella in my drink. It’s already wet.

Someone from 🇸🇲 has viewed:

Feeling lonely? Just glue a coffee cup to the roof of your car. Everyone will wave to you.

Someone from 🇻🇪 has bookmarked:

If I walk into a girl’s house and she got like 50 plants, I know she’s a keeper because she already takes care of a bunch of useless things. What’s one more?

Someone from 🇵🇬 has bookmarked:

You can be anything. Be the person who ends the meeting early.

Someone from 🇬🇶 has shared:

Even a broken shrimp fries rice twice a day.

Someone from 🇻🇪 has downloaded:

People are teaching their dogs how to skateboard and my dog’s chart at the vet says “must be picked up, won’t walk”.

Someone from 🇨🇳 has shared:

Kids these days don’t know the shame of having to explain yo-yo injuries.

Someone from 🇨🇴 has shared:

Who are these people that buy unsalted butter on purpose?

Someone from 🇻🇪 has downloaded:

The only downside to dating hot men is that when it ends, he’s still hot.

Social Media Log 💫

Just landed via Reddit:

Family fistfights brought to you by Monopoly.

Just landed via Discord:

I’m sorry I said “I look forward to working with you” during our wedding vows.

Going bananas on LinkedIn:

You should introduce your upper lip to your bottom lip sometime and shut up.

Making waves on Slack:

I didn’t lose an hour of sleep. The hour of sleep lost me.

Just shared via X:

Nothing humbles you faster than your phone slipping out of your hand and hitting your face.

Spreading quickly via Reddit:

Whoops, lost myself for about eight years there.

Making waves on Facebook:

Calm down, engine light, if I can run on broken parts, so can you.

Breaking via Reddit:

I got a raise! On my meds dosage. But still.

Going viral on Slack:

I’m bringing back “hold your horses” and nobody can stop me.

Spotted on Twitch:

My girlfriend wants us to try couples counseling and I said we should use my therapist because he already knows what’s wrong with her.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

“Are you free tomorrow?” No, tomorrow I’m still expensive.

Related Funny Quotes 🤝

I’m so lazy that I’ll break my tooth trying to get this tag off before I get up and get a scissor.

Moose would have been a better name for a cow.

Social media is proof that even mental hospitals have WiFi.

Regrettably, my children appear to have befriended a child I find annoying.

She is so narcissistic that her narcissism has narcissism.

Calling someone a “tough cookie” isn’t a compliment, tough cookies are literally the worst cookies.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨