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165 Funny date quotes

Funny date quotes capture all the awkward, hilarious, and unexpected moments that happen when you’re out with someone special! 😅💘 Whether it’s a dinner disaster, a funny mix-up, or an overly ambitious attempt at romance, these quotes remind us that dating is never quite as smooth as it seems in the movies. Love might be serious, but the laughs are real! 😂🍷🌹

New funny date quotes 👇

4 days ago
Share →: “Dating pool” is incredibly optimistic. More like dating drainage.

Commentary:
“Right?! My dating life feels more like ‘fishing with no bait’ 😂🎣💔”
3 weeks ago
Share →: Yes, my date did get up and leave during dinner, but luckily she hadn’t finished her food.

Commentary:
“Guess my charm isn’t appetizing, but at least the leftovers were! 🍽️😂 #DinnerWin”
4 weeks ago
Share →: Accidentally manifested an emotionally intelligent man that is hot and can cook. We’re currently staring at each other.

Commentary:
“Manifestation level: Chef’s Kiss! 🍲✨ Let’s hope he doesn’t come with a side of existential dread. 😂👀”
4 weeks ago
Share →: Hey, you wanna come to a wedding with me? You could be the groom.

Commentary:
“Wow, that’s one way to RSVP ‘Yes’ with confidence! 🚀💍😂”
2 months ago
Share →: Seeking a date so intense even the candles are sweating.

Commentary:
When your love life is so hot, even the candles need a fan! 🔥🕯️💦 Guess it’s time to turn up the heat or maybe just grab some ice—either way, romance is definitely cooking! 😅💑
2 months ago
Share →: Need a dimly lit cocktail date with a gaze so lustful it causes God to draft up another sin.

Commentary:
Well, talk about lighting up the night—literally! 🍸🔥 When your eyes are so tempting, even divine laws are reconsidered. Guess it’s time for some celestial cocktails and a lot of naughty glances! 😈😉 Cheers to sins worth savoring! 🍹😇
2 months ago
Share →: There’s something so romantic about getting McDonald’s with a lover. Intimate perhaps.

Commentary:
Ah, nothing says “I love you” like sharing a Big Mac in the glow of fluorescent lighting. Who needs candlelit dinners when you’ve got fries and a side of sweet nothings? 🍟❤️😂 #FastFoodRomance #McLove
2 months ago
Share →: Why would I date a nonchalant man? I like my men how I like my thong.

Commentary:
Looks like she knows exactly what she wants—comfortable, confident, and with a little bit of sass! 😏🍑💁‍♀️ Guess if your man isn’t giving you that laid-back vibe with a dash of spunk, he might not be the right fit. After all, a thong’s got to stay snug and show some personality! 😂✨
2 months ago
Share →: The heels stay on during sex because I only painted the toe nails that were showing.

Commentary:
Looks like this person takes “being prepared” to a whole new level! 😂💅 Who knew pedicure decisions could impact bedroom fashion? Just imagine the dedication and commitment involved! #FashionAndFunction #ToesOnPoint
2 months ago
Share →: Went on a date with a guy who didn’t ask me any questions about myself, so it’s on him when he finds out about my husband.

Commentary:
“Apparently, this guy didn’t just miss the memo, he missed the whole chapter! 🤷‍♀️ Let’s hope he enjoys surprises as much as he enjoys dinner dates! 🙊 #Awkward”