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Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New funny quotes: 8422 this month

15,818 funny quotes and pics

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Updated: May 24, 2026

 

 

 

 

225 Funny date quotes

Funny date quotes capture all the awkward, hilarious, and unexpected moments that happen when you’re out with someone special! 😅💘 Whether it’s a dinner disaster, a funny mix-up, or an overly ambitious attempt at romance, these quotes remind us that dating is never quite as smooth as it seems in the movies. Love might be serious, but the laughs are real! 😂🍷🌹

The date abruptly ended over a disagreement on how to pronounce Gnocchi.

Posted onMay 24, 2026

You should be allowed to leave work early if you are really in love.

Posted onMay 24, 2026

“Are you seeing someone?” Like a hallucination, therapist, or a guy?

Posted onMay 24, 2026

First date idea: I lean in close and surprise you with a wet willy.

Posted onMay 24, 2026

By the time I meet the right person, I’ll probably be the wrong person.

Posted onMay 24, 2026

You don’t know a person until you’ve seen them eat popcorn.

Posted onMay 24, 2026

Can you check if my lips taste like cherries?

Posted onMay 24, 2026

“I’d rather hurl myself into an active volcano!” -me, politely declining dates.

Posted onMay 24, 2026

No, he didn’t ghost you, you just left him speechless, forever.

Posted onMay 24, 2026

November moving quicker than two lesbians who met three days ago.

Posted onMay 24, 2026

At the art museum walking slower and observing more than anyone else.

Posted onMay 24, 2026

If we start dating now, we could be feeding each other deviled eggs on Thanksgiving, and breaking up before we have to exchange gifts for Christmas.

Posted onMay 24, 2026

She asked to see where the magic happens, so I showed her my sandwich maker.

Posted onMay 24, 2026

Someone asked me how much I spend on a bottle of wine. 30 minutes was not the right answer.

Posted onMay 23, 2026

Hey boy, are you my washing machine? Because neither of you know how long 10 minutes last.

Posted onMay 23, 2026

The way my phone’s facial recognition pretends not to recognize me, you’d think I dated it.

Posted onMay 23, 2026

An app where you and your partner swipe left and right on restaurants until there’s a match. No talking, no negotiation. Who’s building this?

Posted onMay 23, 2026

You wear a white shirt and all of a sudden everybody wants to go eat spaghetti.

Posted onMay 23, 2026

Me attempting to flirt: So do you like doing things?

Posted onMay 23, 2026

There is no sex. I lied. You are gonna lay here and take personality quizzes with me.

Posted onMay 23, 2026

I wonder if my date ever found her way out of that corn maze.

Posted onMay 23, 2026

Deleted all dating apps, instead I’m just going to walk into a grocery store and look confused.

Posted onMay 23, 2026

She wanted me to impress her in the bedroom, so I showed her my organized sock drawer and my fresh matching bedding.

Posted onMay 23, 2026

Sleep with each other, or someone else will!

Posted onMay 23, 2026

You can always tell when a man is dating someone new. Why you going to the aquarium and the museum?

Posted onMay 23, 2026

Whoops, accidentally said I couldn’t make it before they even said the date.

Posted onMay 23, 2026

Deleted old Tweets just in case I date a very famous woman with rabid fans.

Posted onMay 23, 2026

If all men are the same, why does it take women so long to choose one?

Posted onMay 23, 2026

Restaurant toilets are dangerous! So many of my dates have gone to use them and vanished.

Posted onMay 23, 2026

Hi, where do you meet someone without dating apps and if you never leave your apartment? I need tips, please. Urgently!

Posted onMay 23, 2026

Friday the 13th doesn’t even feel creepy cause bad things happen everyday now.

Posted onMay 23, 2026

Hot singles in your area! They don’t want to talk to you. But they’re there.

Posted onMay 23, 2026

I will never give another woman my heart until I see how she acts when a bee flies at her.

Posted onMay 23, 2026

Hey babe, wanna come over and fold me like a fitted sheet?

Posted onMay 23, 2026

Picking up women at the bar and then gently setting them down.

Posted onMay 23, 2026

How soon into a new relationship should you let her know you’re an idiot?

Posted onMay 23, 2026

The horror of being warned that the person you’re about to meet is “fine once you get to know them”.

Posted onMay 22, 2026

“Date” is just another word for: Jeez, had I known that before, I would have stayed home.

Posted onMay 22, 2026

Still writing the old year on all my ransom notes.

Posted onMay 22, 2026

When I say I’m saving myself for marriage, what I mean is you won’t know how annoying I am until it’s too late.

Posted onMay 22, 2026

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