Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇵🇹 has viewed:

Sometimes I wonder if the strangers I see when I go outside are actually the people I talk to online.

Someone from 🇹🇳 has viewed:

I need to consult the woods about this.

Someone from 🇲🇱 has bookmarked:

If you can’t beat them, arrange to have them beaten.

Someone from 🇨🇴 has bookmarked:

Forgetting your phone at home is the modern equivalent of leaving your sword behind in medieval times.

Someone from 🇹🇹 has downloaded:

Don’t ruin a good sundress by wearing panties.

Someone from 🇹🇿 has viewed:

Female breasts are nature’s anti-stress balls. The irony is that they are connected to the biggest stress-inducing device.

Someone from 🇲🇬 has copied:

Children are so giving. For example, my kids gave me a cold.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

494 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,087

Funny Quotes Topics

17,241

Funny Quotes Images

15,087

Updated

Dec 19, 2025

Users Online

3,710

Social Media Log 💫

Freshly posted on Pinterest:

Good morning to everyone — except me, because I clearly didn’t get enough sleep.

Just shared via Telegram:

I’ve been ghosted enough to add paranormal investigator to my resume.

Live now on Telegram:

I love going “Streets are saying” before I say something I literally just made up.

Broadcasted on Telegram:

They said, “Enjoy your money because life is short.” Now my money is finished, but I’m still alive.

Shared recently on Threads:

Salt is just angry sugar.

Shared recently on WeChat:

If I ever get the death penalty, I hope “by chocolate” is an option.

Spotted on LinkedIn:

Going to the beach the day after watching Jaws hits different.

At this point, if a clown invited me into the woods, I would just go.

3 weeks ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
Joining the circus one questionable decision at a time 🎪🤡🌲

clown, fear, humor, i, invitation, invited, just, me, point, trust, woods

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

It got weird when I thought both arm rests at the movie theatre were mine.

5 months ago

arm, arm rest, awkward, awkward moment, both, funny moment, got, i, mine, moment, movie, movie theatre, movie watching, personal, personal space, rest, space, theatre, thought, watching, weird
If you get drunk and message your ex, don’t worry. When you wake up, send bitcoin ads and pretend you were hacked.

1 month ago

ads, apology, Bitcoin, drunk, ex, hacked, humor, message, pretend, relationship, wake, wake up, worry
I like to live life dangerously by occasionally sticking my foot out over the edge of the bed at night.

2 months ago

bed, dangerously, edge, foot, humor, i, life, live, living, living life, night, over, risk, sticking
When someone loses something, I like to ask helpful questions like ‘Where did you last see it?’ and ‘Where did you put it?’ and ‘Where is it?’

4 weeks ago

advice, ask, help, helpful, humor, i, last, losing, memory, put, question, questions, search, someone, something, where
It whistles, doesn’t it? Your head when it’s windy.

1 month ago

head, humor, joke, observation, whistle, wind
My security system is just a bunch of my unpaid bills taped to my front door.

2 months ago

bills, door, front, front door, humor, joke, just, protection, security, system, unpaid

New Funny Quotes

Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇦🇬 has downloaded:

Girls want a bad boy to fix. Boys want a good girl to corrupt. Me? I just want a rumbustious monkey as a butler.

Someone from 🇳🇮 has bookmarked:

Being a social worker is crazy because those are literally my two least favorite things.

Someone from 🇳🇪 has copied:

The single star on Texas’ flag is actually a review.

Someone from 🇩🇿 has downloaded:

Before I start seeing a psychiatrist, does anyone like me crazy?

Someone from 🇱🇺 has viewed:

I can’t wait to see my older sister so she can point out I have more gray hair than she does.

Someone from 🇸🇦 has downloaded:

Some cause happiness wherever they go; others whenever they go.

Someone from 🇵🇱 has bookmarked:

“I asked Grok.” “I asked ChatGPT.” Well, I asked R2D2, and he said you’re a loser.

Social Media Log 💫

Just landed via TikTok:

This meeting should’ve been a fist fight.

Shared recently on Reddit:

A word to the wise ain’t necessary, it’s the stupid ones who need advice.

Live now on WhatsApp:

Good morning, did you have a nice weekend? I ask my many open work tabs.

Just shared via Snapchat:

I bet when you invited me to Thanksgiving dinner you didn’t think I’d stay this long.

Freshly posted on Facebook:

No need for a Halloween costume this year because there’s nothing scarier than being in your mid-20s and not knowing who you are or what you want to do anymore.

Spotted on TikTok:

They say we learn from our mistakes, that’s why I’m making as many as possible. Soon I’ll be a genius.

Just landed via Facebook:

I read classics because my FOMO is making me want to understand every reference ever.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

At this point, if a clown invited me into the woods, I would just go.

It got weird when I thought both arm rests at the movie theatre were mine.

If you get drunk and message your ex, don’t worry. When you wake up, send bitcoin ads and pretend you were hacked.

I like to live life dangerously by occasionally sticking my foot out over the edge of the bed at night.

When someone loses something, I like to ask helpful questions like ‘Where did you last see it?’ and ‘Where did you put it?’ and ‘Where is it?’

It whistles, doesn’t it? Your head when it’s windy.

My security system is just a bunch of my unpaid bills taped to my front door.

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

I swear, if my memory was any worse, I could plan my own surprise party.

Instead of cleaning my house, I just watch episodes of hoarders on TV and then I think “Wow, my house looks awesome!”

Follow your heart, but take your brain with you.

You only live once and thank God for that.

Trying to explain to my cat why she can’t jump off the balcony, even though I want to as well.

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

One day you’re young and fun, and the next you’re saying, “I wonder how old this tree is.”

My morning routine is basically just me convincing myself not to go back to bed.

It’s the weekend, so naturally, I’m going to spend 48 hours doing nothing, and still be exhausted.

I know life can be tough, but you still gotta wear deodorant.

The sexual tension between me and buying more books.

Trending Topics 📁

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

I need to find hobbies that don’t include my debit card.

Asking for a donation like Wikipedia every time someone asks me a question.

I remember the first time I saw a universal remote control. I thought to myself, “Wow, this changes everything.”

Not sure why I drink anymore. I get the same effect from standing up too fast.

I hate when my cat runs into my bedroom and hisses at an empty chair, then runs back out again; and I then have to fall asleep holding a crucifix.

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

I miss you (the money I spent).

Morning me just stripped the bedding. Evening me is going to be pissed.

Don’t ever let your computer feel that you’re in a hurry, cause they’re gonna slow down more.

Haggis – the meal you have to stomach twice.

Monday: The only day when you can wear the same outfit from the day before without anyone noticing.

Activity Log ✨

Share Wordgag 🙏

Activity Log ✨

At this point, if a clown invited me into the woods, I would just go.

Related Funny Posts 🤝

It got weird when I thought both arm rests at the movie theatre were mine.

If you get drunk and message your ex, don’t worry. When you wake up, send bitcoin ads and pretend you were hacked.

I like to live life dangerously by occasionally sticking my foot out over the edge of the bed at night.

When someone loses something, I like to ask helpful questions like ‘Where did you last see it?’ and ‘Where did you put it?’ and ‘Where is it?’

It whistles, doesn’t it? Your head when it’s windy.

My security system is just a bunch of my unpaid bills taped to my front door.

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

Trending Topics 📁

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Share Wordgag 🙏