Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇳🇿 has bookmarked:

She wanted me to impress her in the bedroom, so I showed her my organized sock drawer and my fresh matching bedding.

Someone from 🇺🇿 has copied:

Social anxiety so bad I wonder if I’m welcome at places I was invited to.

Someone from 🇳🇴 has bookmarked:

Just because you can connect to your neighbor’s bluetooth speaker and play ghost noises doesn’t mean you should.

Someone from 🇳🇦 has shared:

What base is it when he says, “I know you need it badly,” but he’s talking about sleep?

Someone from 🇧🇹 has shared:

Tai Chi is so crazy because it’s like throwing a slow motion tantrum.

Someone from 🇨🇩 has downloaded:

My favorite part of adulting is borrowing money from myself and paying myself back.

Someone from 🇹🇹 has viewed:

You’d be surprised how many times you can use the word succulent in a work email.

Someone from 🇹🇲 has bookmarked:

Caught my husband staring at me again. He’s probably weighing his pros and cons.

Someone from 🇪🇷 has downloaded:

Anyone know how to get an air guitar out of a vacuum?

Someone from 🇧🇾 has viewed:

Someone in their late 20s giving advice to someone in their early 20s is exactly like when a toddler is obsessed with a newborn.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

105 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,374

Funny Quotes Topics

17,485

Funny Quotes Images

15,374

Updated

Jan 2, 2026

Users Online

3,547

Social Media Log 💫

Shared recently on Twitch:

“I asked ChatGPT,” “I asked Grok,” yeah, well, I wipe away the hours conversing with the flowers.

Spreading quickly via X:

I’m really looking forward to another exciting year staring at my phone.

Live now on Messenger:

I stay away from beef-flavored cat food. At no point could Sylvia realistically bring down a cow, and I don’t need that kind of ego in the house.

Spotted on YouTube:

If pigeons could talk, they would bum a cigarette.

Just landed via YouTube:

If we all club together we could raise enough money to buy Monday and have it destroyed.

Just landed via Twitch:

Can’t, too busy deleting screenshots of my lock screen.

Making waves on WeChat:

Everyone hates math until their paycheck looks funny, then all of a sudden you know trigonometry.

Freshly posted on WhatsApp:

“Don’t bite the hand that feeds you!” Maybe just don’t bite hands. Shouldn’t have to qualify it.

Spreading quickly via Threads:

I really want a family… sized bag of peanut butter M&Ms.

Just shared via WhatsApp:

What’s a polite way to tell someone you hope they get mauled by a bear?

Back to the Future and chill?

2 months ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
Time travel and chill? Just don't bring the DeLorean into the living room! 🚗💨🔧🍿

back, Back to the Future, chill, culture, date, future, humor, movie, pop, pop culture

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

My wife screamed “you haven’t listened to a single word I’ve said, have you?!” I was taken aback, what a weird way to start a conversation.

0

2 months ago

communication, conversation, humor, i, listen, misunderstanding, relationship, single, start, surprise, taken, weird, wife, word
You should tell different people completely different things about yourself so that they then get into arguments when gossiping about you.

0

2 months ago

arguments, communication, deception, different, gossip, humor, people, self, should, strategy, tell, things, yourself
At first, big breasts were attractive, then suddenly it was big butts. I’m waiting for it to finally be big bellies.

0

2 months ago

attractive, attractiveness, belly, big, body, body image, breasts, butts, change, humor, image, preferences, trends, waiting
I just locked eyes with a spider. But instead of killing him I ran away and hid, so he can spend the night stressing about where I am.

0

2 months ago

am, anxiety, away, eyes, fear, funny situation, hiding, humor, i, just, lock, lock eyes, locked, night, ran, running, running away, situation, spend, spider, stress, where
Guy in front of me at the movies was reading the popcorn Wikipedia page while he was eating popcorn.

0

6 months ago

eating, entertainment, front, guy, humor, me, movie, observation, page, popcorn, reading, snack, while, Wikipedia
Women aren’t complicated. Just give us attention and leave us alone.

0

2 months ago

alone, attention, communication, give, humor, just, leave, relationship, simplicity, women

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

46 shares on Instagram this month:

How much chocolate is too much chocolate before it is technically no longer a salad?

75 shares on Threads this month:

Ever think vampires just lied about hating garlic, now we’re just out here seasoning ourselves for them?

21 shares on Twitch this month:

I was so locked in, to the point where we were tongue-kissing with morning breath.

94 shares on Messenger this month:

Life is not a fairy tale. If you lose your shoe at midnight, you’re drunk.

19 shares on WhatsApp this month:

Good luck sending me mixed signals. Most the time I can’t even understand the direct ones.

77 shares on Slack this month:

I only like when it rains when I’m home.

68 shares on Telegram this month:

Having a Bible verse in your bio doesn’t make you a good person.

70 shares on Threads this month:

When you said “let’s circle back to that in the new year” and now it’s the new year.

73 shares on Pinterest this month:

No open job postings for “Warrior Poet” found in your area. Please try another search.

87 shares on Threads this month:

Traveling back in time to proudly inform Benjamin Franklin that my stove has wifi.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇨🇿 has shared:

The sexiest woman you know is trying to maintain her balance between insanity and genius.

Someone from 🇰🇮 has downloaded:

My boyfriend invited the neighbors over for dinner, “sometime,” so now we have to move.

Someone from 🇫🇲 has viewed:

Saying “sounds good to me” in a meeting then quickly realizing a lot more was expected from you.

Someone from 🇷🇴 has shared:

You’re telling me people get eight hours of sleep? Like in one night?

Someone from 🇨🇩 has bookmarked:

Sometimes I can’t believe people have had the honor of experiencing my love and chose to hurt me instead.

Someone from 🇰🇮 has downloaded:

It is a shame that nothing is built in America anymore. I just bought a TV that said: “Built in Antenna”. I don’t even know where that is.

Someone from 🇰🇭 has shared:

Sometimes I’m grateful that thoughts don’t appear as bubbles over our heads.

Someone from 🇬🇷 has viewed:

Men, why do you still have the boxes your electronics came in?

Someone from 🇲🇲 has downloaded:

If I ever have a daughter, I’m going to call her Erica, but spell it Airwrecka.

Someone from 🇸🇪 has bookmarked:

A pie where there isn’t pastry on the bottom isn’t a pie. It’s soup with a hat.

Social Media Log 💫

Spreading quickly via Instagram:

It’s like my therapist always says, that’ll be $175.

Just landed via WhatsApp:

Bragging about how I’ve “really turned my life around recently” without mentioning in which direction.

Just landed via Reddit:

Turns out I like you a lot more than I originally planned.

Shared recently on Threads:

Twitter is just a virtual mental hospital.

Spotted on Telegram:

I had a dream about you. You were stupid there, too.

Shared recently on Facebook:

The only hot singles in my area are in my wallet.

Breaking via WhatsApp:

Therapy is life letting you speak to the manager.

Live now on TikTok:

Skinning your knee as an adult is so humiliating. That’s the toddler injury.

Spotted on Telegram:

I probably think this song is about me.

Going bananas on Threads:

Nothing ruins an introvert’s day like a 4 p.m. appointment.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

Back to the Future and chill?

Related Funny Quotes 🤝

My wife screamed “you haven’t listened to a single word I’ve said, have you?!” I was taken aback, what a weird way to start a conversation.

You should tell different people completely different things about yourself so that they then get into arguments when gossiping about you.

At first, big breasts were attractive, then suddenly it was big butts. I’m waiting for it to finally be big bellies.

I just locked eyes with a spider. But instead of killing him I ran away and hid, so he can spend the night stressing about where I am.

Guy in front of me at the movies was reading the popcorn Wikipedia page while he was eating popcorn.

Women aren’t complicated. Just give us attention and leave us alone.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨