Trending Funny Quotes 👇

  • Welcome to your 40s: you get tired from sleeping now.
  • Pitching a sitcom where all the top people running a major city have been arrested and by chain of command the person in charge is now a librarian.
  • Having a peanut allergy has to be so wild. Like, imagine you’re at a baseball game and there are people chucking bags of rattlesnakes past your head.
  • Tried a smile yesterday and my white blood cells attacked it.
  • I got a raise! On my meds dosage. But still.