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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇺🇸 has shared:

I miss my kids the most when they go to bed and the mosquitoes go after me because they have no other options.

Someone from 🇲🇽 has bookmarked:

Our parents just don’t know how far we rode the bikes when we were young.

Someone from 🇦🇬 has downloaded:

The question “how is work” really pisses me off. Work is work, bro, I don’t know what else you want me to say.

Someone from 🇦🇬 has bookmarked:

You think you’re raising your kids right, and then one of them decides to be a fan of your football team’s arch rival.

Someone from 🇸🇧 has shared:

Serious replies to silly posts are now illegal. Go talk to your wife.

Someone from 🇳🇪 has bookmarked:

Best lie you heard was eat all your food so you can be big and strong. Now look at you. Just big.

Someone from 🇬🇧 has bookmarked:

Gang initiations from the Midwest be like “you have to eat the entire potato salad.”

Someone from 🇳🇪 has copied:

Accordion to current studies, 90% of you did not realize that this sentence started with a musical instrument.

Someone from 🇳🇦 has viewed:

Today I started gardening. I planted myself in front of the TV and I sat there the entire day.

Someone from 🇧🇾 has copied:

If a beer is 8 bucks, it’s a show. If a beer is 14 bucks, it’s a concert.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

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Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,728

Social Media Log 💫

Broadcasted on Telegram:

Is it stupid and irresponsible? Yes. Will it make me happy? Also yes.

Going viral on Telegram:

I need someone to convince me into or out of buying a jetski. I can’t keep living in this purgatory.

Spotted on Pinterest:

Blocking someone isn’t enough, I also want them to get lice.

Broadcasted on Facebook:

Those who still fit in their wedding dresses years later haven’t been making enough effort eating.

Spotted on Instagram:

I’ve finally found out what chronology is. And it’s about time.

Just landed via Discord:

“Turn down for what?” My ears, fella. My ears.

Shared recently on WhatsApp:

Adulting is getting excited to go home and get into bed.

Spotted on Messenger:

God: “You can’t just say ‘Goddammit!’ and expect Me to damn it. There’s a procedure. File the paperwork.”

Spotted on Telegram:

I used to be a person who couldn’t easily fall asleep, then I got divorced and now I sleep like a baby. Probably unrelated.

Trending via Slack:

I’m basically a taxi today for the kids and dogs.

Body by sandwich.

Playful quote about body image with a humorous twist on sandwiches.
Download image ↓

Commentary:
"Who needs hours at the gym when you can sculpt your body with a sandwich masterpiece instead? 🥪💪🏋️‍♂️ Sandwiches: the new superfood for those looking to build their 'bread-y' 😉 physique!"

, , , , ,

Keep the laugh going 😂

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

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Social Media Stars ⭐

89 shares on Slack this month:

Breakfast is the most important beer of the day.

78 shares on Snapchat this month:

If being hard on yourself worked, it would have worked by now!

19 shares on Messenger this month:

I was born to be wild, but only until around 9pm or so.

32 shares on Facebook this month:

Love when plans get canceled. It’s like getting a snow day as an adult.

29 shares on WhatsApp this month:

Ouija boards are like unannounced phone calls for ghosts.

39 shares on Snapchat this month:

My favorite part of the Bible is when Jesus says to put a cross emoji and a Bible verse in your bio, and then call people slurs on the internet.

25 shares on Slack this month:

This meeting could have been an AI summary.

45 shares on Pinterest this month:

My apologies to your congregation. I totally misunderstood when you asked for missionary volunteers.

30 shares on X this month:

Saturdays are for doing absolutely everything or doing absolutely nothing, everybody knows that.

37 shares on TikTok this month:

Congratulations to the people who never took their Christmas decorations down. You’re almost there.

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes 💥

16 folks are currently checking 👀

Having leftover pizza for breakfast is an actual blessing.

22 folks are currently checking 👀

If she reads Bukowski, she’s not looking for love. She’s looking for someone who will ruin her creatively.

20 folks are currently checking 👀

Getting married soon. Just need a spouse.

12 folks are currently checking 👀

You don’t really see women throwing their boyfriend’s stuff out the window anymore.

10 folks are currently checking 👀

It’s like my wish isn’t even your command anymore…

18 folks are currently checking 👀

It got weird when I thought both arm rests at the movie theatre were mine.

16 folks are currently checking 👀

Awake? You may be entitled to compensation.

5 folks are currently checking 👀

Dancing alone in your home is its own kind of therapy.

18 folks are currently checking 👀

WhatsApp calls should indicate whose internet is poor to avoid unnecessary arguments.

19 folks are currently checking 👀

“Why are you so quiet?” Because I’m barely even here.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,601

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇸🇨 has viewed:

I want to have a penguin that just waddles up to me whenever I’m sad.

Someone from 🇱🇨 has copied:

I often choose gift bags instead of wrapping, not just out of laziness, but also because I have the fine motor skills of a drunken panda.

Someone from 🇷🇴 has bookmarked:

Please do not ask a bookworm if they are going to finish the books they have before buying more. It is very offensive in our culture.

Someone from 🇵🇹 has copied:

If Pokémon were real, state fairs would serve them deep fried on a stick.

Someone from 🇱🇷 has viewed:

Distance is my jam; solitude is my peanut butter.

Someone from 🇺🇾 has copied:

Oh, I didn’t tell you? Must have been none of your business, then.

Someone from 🇸🇹 has downloaded:

I’m never early… unless we’re talking about the airport.

Someone from 🇧🇳 has copied:

Nothing makes you regret an outfit choice faster than when you see teens looking at you and whispering.

Someone from 🇲🇹 has bookmarked:

Just looked around and realized it’s everyone’s first time living.

Someone from 🇧🇦 has bookmarked:

I may be ugly, but I used to be uglier.

Social Media Log 💫

Spotted on Pinterest:

I can’t believe we live in the timeline where we invented a technology to make it so we can never trust a photo or video again.

Going viral on Pinterest:

Still can’t believe we have a federal holiday to celebrate the 1996 hit movie Independence Day.

Freshly posted on Twitch:

Being flirted with while you’re on the clock feels like a hostage situation.

Making waves on Telegram:

Newborns cry because they’re being evicted.

Spreading quickly via TikTok:

Getting the house to yourself for a night is basically winning the lottery.

Just landed via Messenger:

Are French bulldogs actually French? They seem kinda Puerto Rican.

Breaking via Threads:

I’m proud of myself because, despite having so many expenses, I still manage to add more.

Freshly posted on Snapchat:

A big F*** YOU to people driving small cars and pulling deep into parking spaces so I think I have a spot until the last second.

Spotted on WeChat:

Go to Heaven for the climate, Hell for the company.

Trending via YouTube:

A drone, but for seeing which fast food drive-thrus have the shortest line.

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