39 funny sandwich quotes - Wordgag

Starting the second half of your sandwich is like “hell yeah, baby, let’s run it back!”

May 25, 2026

I’m eating sandwiches you haven’t heard of in jeans you can’t pronounce.

May 25, 2026

In my defense, they burned my grilled cheese sandwich.

May 25, 2026

I want a pet eagle that’s trained to steal people’s sandwiches for me.

May 24, 2026

My two moods are eating a breakfast sandwich or wishing I was eating a breakfast sandwich.

May 24, 2026

She asked to see where the magic happens, so I showed her my sandwich maker.

May 24, 2026

My card declined at Subway and they started eating the sandwich in front of me.

May 24, 2026

A colon can completely change the meaning of a sentence. For example: Jill ate her friend’s sandwich VS Jill ate her friend’s colon.

May 23, 2026

Body by sandwich.

May 23, 2026

Airport security asked me if I’ve seen anything unusual. I just paid $18 for a coke & a sandwich. Let’s start with that.

May 23, 2026

As highly as it’s esteemed, the Mayo Clinic still sounds like the place sick sandwiches go to get better.

May 23, 2026

Why do moths eat sweaters? Have they tried sandwiches or avocados?

May 23, 2026

When buying presents I like to think, what would Jesus have got you? So yeah, enjoy your fish sandwich.

May 23, 2026

A penguin is a bird the way a hot dog is a sandwich.

May 22, 2026

Unsolicited sandwich pics.

May 22, 2026

The sandwich I made for lunch didn’t even make it until 10am.

May 22, 2026

Revenge is a dish best served by cutting a sandwich horizontally instead of diagonally.

May 22, 2026

The only thing limiting what you can put in a sandwich is your imagination and the laws of physics.

May 22, 2026

If someone else makes you a sandwich, it’s always better than if you do it yourself. It’s the same with sex.

May 22, 2026

The way some people hold their cell phone to make a call, I always think they’re trying to take a bite out of a sandwich.

May 22, 2026

A Tinder type app, but it matches you with sandwiches.

May 21, 2026

My favorite yoga pose is the one where you eat a sandwich.

May 21, 2026

I’m always sad when my sandwich is over.

May 21, 2026

People pass a joint around like it’s no big deal, but the minute I ask someone to do that with their Subway sandwich, I’m a weirdo.

May 20, 2026

Long sandwiches should have suitcase handles.

May 20, 2026

If I let you into my life, I am either emotionally invested or you are a grilled cheese sandwich.

May 20, 2026

Don’t talk to me unless you are a ham sandwich.

May 20, 2026

Never underestimate the healing power of a grilled cheese sandwich.

May 19, 2026

Hi, I’m online. Would you like to argue for an hour about whether a hotdog is a sandwich?

Apr 1, 2026

Legend says that when you’re overwhelmed and on the edge of a nervous breakdown, a small child will appear and tell you that you made their sandwich wrong.

Mar 31, 2026

Strange new trend at the office. People putting names on food in the company fridge. Today I had a tuna sandwich named Linda.

Mar 31, 2026

There should be a true crime story about feeding someone a peanut butter sandwich and giving them nothing to drink.

Mar 30, 2026

Sex so good, my left hand is making my right hand a sandwich.

Mar 30, 2026

Someday I will make a sandwich that will change my life forever.

Mar 29, 2026

Rock bottom should give me free sandwich and coffee for how often I hit it.

Mar 29, 2026

Whenever I’m not eating a breakfast sandwich I wish I was eating a breakfast sandwich.

Mar 29, 2026

I miss being the age where the most devastating thing in the world was when my sandwiches got cut into squares instead of triangles.

Mar 28, 2026

Why is Subway asking me for a tip? Bro, we made this sandwich together.

Mar 28, 2026

A sandwich has the power to change your entire life.

Mar 28, 2026