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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇨🇩 has bookmarked:

Can anyone recommend some good places for somebody just getting into visiting?

Someone from 🇺🇸 has bookmarked:

You can’t keep running away from your problems, you’re getting older and your kids are getting faster.

Someone from 🇳🇷 has bookmarked:

Using Indeed feels like being an ugly guy on a dating app.

Someone from 🇼🇸 has downloaded:

It’s not even a crush. it’s just unsupervised hope.

Someone from 🇯🇲 has downloaded:

You know you’re over 50 when you have “upstairs Ibuprofen” and “downstairs Ibuprofen”.

Someone from 🇳🇵 has downloaded:

If I were God, I’d tell everyone that I created the animals and that I don’t know what happened after that.

Someone from 🇵🇭 has copied:

Scrolling… good take… bad take… nothing take… cyberbullying… beautiful woman.

Someone from 🇮🇶 has copied:

30s: Oh look, a dance floor! 50s: Oh look, a couch!

Someone from 🇰🇪 has copied:

The Bible is 100% accurate when thrown at close range.

Someone from 🇮🇶 has copied:

“Comparison is the thief of joy!” Well, not if you’re better than everyone else.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

0 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,269

Funny Quotes Topics

17,387

Funny Quotes Images

15,269

Dec 31, 2025

3,696

Social Media Log 💫

Live now on Slack:

The only time anyone should watch the news is to study how psychological manipulation works on the general public.

Making waves on Instagram:

I need something good to watch while I’m on my phone.

Spotted on Telegram:

I just went to Crazy Town, and they said you’re a local legend.

Broadcasted on Telegram:

You want me to turn around? The thing that led to a total eclipse of the heart.

Breaking via WeChat:

I’ve reached a point in my life where if I can’t find parking, I’m just going to go home.

Just landed via Instagram:

Someone asked, “Can I bum a scroll?” because they deleted Instagram off their phone.

Going bananas on Telegram:

The breathing exercises from the birth preparation course are only needed once the child has reached puberty.

Going viral on Facebook:

Who called it a deep freeze instead of ice-o-lation?

Spreading quickly via Threads:

All we needed to be happy in the 90s was music and cigarettes.

Making waves on LinkedIn:

Applying for jobs feels like auditioning to be enthusiastic about a blind date you haven’t even met yet.

Building a snowman so I can punch it in the face.

2 months ago

0

Building a snowman so I can punch it in the face.

Download image ↓

Commentary:
Looks like someone's taking out their winter aggression on a defenseless snowman! ❄️☃️ Better watch out, Frosty, you're in for a frosty showdown! Hopefully, no snowmen were harmed in the making of this snowy drama! ⛄😆 #SnowmanSmackdown

activity, aggression, building, face, fun, fun activity, humor, i, playful, playful aggression, punch, snowman, winter

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Donuts have holes in them, just like acoustic guitars, but that’s pretty much where the similarities end.

0

2 months ago

acoustic, acoustic guitar, comparison, donut, donuts, end, food, guitar, hole, humor, just, much, music, pretty, similarity, where
Almonds are a scam. They are wood. You are eating wood.

0

2 months ago

almond, eating, food, humor, joke, sarcasm, scam, wood
It can be so healing to stay up until 3am. Unfortunately, it will also completely ruin your life.

0

2 months ago

3am, balance, comedy, deprivation, healing, health, hours, humor, insomnia, late, late hours, late night, life, life balance, night, ruin, self-care, sleep, sleep deprivation, stay, unfortunately
You call it nagging, I call it ‘listen to what I said the first time!’

0

2 months ago

call, communication, humor, i, irony, listen, nagging, relationship, time
Parents be like “don’t believe everything you see on the internet” then believe everything they see on Facebook.

0

2 months ago

believe, difference, everything, Facebook, generational, generational difference, humor, internet, irony, media, parent, parents, social, social media, trust
I’d like to shrink you down and add you to my keychain.

0

2 months ago

add, affection, humor, ID, keychain, playful, quirky, relationship, shrink

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

🎉🥂 New Year Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

79 shares on Pinterest this month:

I wish we were cats so you could just randomly slap co-workers for no reason.

16 shares on Twitch this month:

Life is hard. It is harder if you are stupid.

81 shares on Threads this month:

I love when someone texts “hey,” like I’m supposed to solve the rest.

40 shares on Pinterest this month:

Kinda lame that pretending everything is fine isn’t working.

45 shares on Twitch this month:

Problematic bed time gap relationship.

70 shares on Telegram this month:

We are all just prisoners here of our phone device.

36 shares on Pinterest this month:

They should invent a political party that doesn’t suck.

21 shares on Discord this month:

I was dismayed to hear the story of Rumpelstiltskin. I had no idea he was like that outside of work.

88 shares on Instagram this month:

Steve Jobs was a vibe coder. He just prompted Steve Wozniak.

86 shares on X this month:

Forget Spotify Wrapped. How many minutes did you spend listening to your girlfriend this year?

Trending Topics 📁

Hot Jokes 💥

13 folks are currently checking 👀

Got banned from the sauna at my gym for saying “steam me up, Scotty” a few too many times.

11 folks are currently checking 👀

Sorry I’m late. Had to scroll back to my birth year.

8 folks are currently checking 👀

Every room is a panic room if someone farts.

11 folks are currently checking 👀

I do not like FaceTime unless we’re best friends or I’m in love with you.

8 folks are currently checking 👀

Sorry for being late, I was enjoying my last few minutes of not being here.

23 folks are currently checking 👀

Thank God they have medical marijuana in this state. I need it for my joints.

22 folks are currently checking 👀

You never realize what you have until it’s gone. Toilet paper is a good example.

16 folks are currently checking 👀

Have you ever wanted to grab somebody by the shoulders, give them a good shake and whisper “Nobody cares!”

5 folks are currently checking 👀

Micro-dosing time travel by going to bed.

17 folks are currently checking 👀

Me liking your post is the equivalent of an angel kissing your forehead.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

0 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,269

Funny Quotes Topics

17,387

Funny Quotes Images

15,269

Updated

Dec 31, 2025

Users Online

3,520

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇸🇲 has bookmarked:

Chores give kids a sense of responsibility while teaching relevant life skills such as procrastination.

Someone from 🇱🇷 has viewed:

So I just googled my symptoms, turns out I’m addicted to you.

Someone from 🇮🇩 has viewed:

I just came across my wife’s Tinder profile and I’m so angry about her lies. She is not “fun to be around”.

Someone from 🇹🇳 has viewed:

I am not living la vida loca. I am loca because of la vida.

Someone from 🇦🇹 has bookmarked:

Spilling hot coffee on your lap wakes you up faster than drinking it.

Someone from 🇼🇸 has copied:

I would flirt with you, but I’d rather seduce you with my awkwardness.

Someone from 🇸🇦 has downloaded:

We put a man on the moon in 1969, and if you elect me to be your president, I promise that we will not stop until every man is on the moon.

Someone from 🇮🇷 has bookmarked:

Don’t let the fact that I’m deeply unserious distract you from the fact that you’re in the presence of a genius.

Someone from 🇩🇪 has bookmarked:

I just ordered a life alert bracelet, so if I ever get a life, I will be notified immediately.

Someone from 🇧🇷 has shared:

They should invent a life where I know what I’m doing.

Social Media Log 💫

Shared recently on TikTok:

Play the Grindr notification noise at Christmas dinner to see which conservative relatives panickedly check their phone ringer.

Making waves on WhatsApp:

If I’m ever mad at you, just talk to me in a sweeter and softer tone, and watch how quickly that anger disappears.

Shared recently on Pinterest:

I have 206 bones, 650 muscles and 50 billion cells in my body. It takes time to wake up all of them up in the morning.

Shared recently on Messenger:

We should be able to call in healthy: “I feel amazing today, and I’m not wasting it at work.”

Going viral on WhatsApp:

It’s a good thing Titanic is only a movie. A lot of people would’ve died.

Making waves on X:

I wanna be a villain so I can just saunter everywhere. The heroes are always sprinting, always running. You ever seen Darth Vader run? Hell no. And I ain’t about to either.

Freshly posted on Slack:

If your drinking story doesn’t involve law enforcement, I’m not listening.

Going bananas on Instagram:

“Your boos mean nothing to me. I’ve seen what you cheer.” Is a goated doctrine. If Rick and Morty gave us anything, it gave us that.

Trending via Instagram:

Oh, lord. I brought my mouth with me to work today and it’s all sass. Prayers, please.

Making waves on Discord:

I can’t believe I slept good all night. What a rush.

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