Someone from 🇿🇲 has downloaded:

I want to be a garbage man, so I only have to work one day a week.

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I’m not really a “glass half full” kind of person. I’m more of a “Where’d I put my glass?” kind of person.

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As a proud husband and father in my 40s, my New Year’s resolution is to sneeze even louder this year.

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The IRS needs special envelopes for when you’re not in trouble.

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After Michael Jordan joined a religious order, he was known as Air Friar.

Someone from 🇪🇷 has copied:

The only way to forget the mistakes you made in the past is to make even bigger and graver mistakes in the present.

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Adulting is when you realize that all you need is a home, stable income and a peaceful partner.

Someone from 🇧🇼 has viewed:

Watching someone else control the computer and doing it differently than you would, is one of life’s greatest challenges.

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I put my pants on like everyone else. With hope they still fit.

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Gang initiations from the Midwest be like “you have to eat the entire potato salad.”