40 funny glasses quotes - Wordgag

Forgot my glasses, so I’m pointing at a random spot on the menu and hoping for the best.

May 21, 2026

I’m not saying I need glasses. But today I watched a bunny in a meadow until it flew away.

May 21, 2026

Babies first steal your glasses and then bite your nose. I don’t know where they get their reputation.

May 21, 2026

The adult version of “head, shoulders, knees and toes” is “wallet, glasses, keys and phone.”

May 21, 2026

Buying new glasses this week, so a whole bunch of you are about to get a whole lot uglier.

May 21, 2026

People will think you know what you’re talking about if you give your opinion while cleaning a pair of reading glasses.

May 21, 2026

I finally have glasses, which is great because I needed one more thing to frantically search for every morning.

May 21, 2026

A moth is just a butterfly with glasses and its hair up.

May 21, 2026

If I had known I looked this sexy in glasses, I would’ve stopped being able to see a long time ago.

May 20, 2026

Sunglasses: allowing you to stare at people without getting caught. It’s like Facebook in real life.

May 20, 2026

Sorry, can you repeat what you said? I didn’t have my glasses on.

May 19, 2026

I’ve had two glasses of wine and responded with “Omgggg congrats, sweet girl” on an engagement post of someone I haven’t spoken to in 5 years.

May 19, 2026

How do I get my glasses prescription placed in my windshield?

Apr 1, 2026

The oceans are rising because no one is drinking their recommended 8-12 glasses of water per day.

Apr 1, 2026

The hottest part of sex is when I take off my glasses and put them in a safe place.

Mar 31, 2026

My toddler asked if we could go to the zoo today, and I said, “I can’t see that happening.” Then she literally left the room and came back with my glasses.

Mar 31, 2026

If you wear glasses, we expect a lot from you academically, especially if your glasses have a rope.

Mar 31, 2026

OK, just so everybody’s clear, I’m going to put my glasses on.

Mar 31, 2026

Wait, some of you are actually seeing for free? No glasses, no contacts? Wow!

Mar 31, 2026

I hate it when I’m outside, and an insect lands and crawls on my glasses, and for a split second, I think aliens have invaded.

Mar 29, 2026

Cleaning your glasses is like changing from 360p to 1080p.

Mar 29, 2026

My toxic trait is treating my glasses like they’re not the most expensive thing I wear everyday.

Mar 28, 2026

Hold on, I just need to take off my glasses and put my face in my hands about it first.

Mar 27, 2026

Respect people who wear glasses because they paid money to see you.

Mar 27, 2026

If you compliment me, my glasses fog up.

Mar 27, 2026

Glasses don’t make you look smart, everyone knows you had to fail a test to get them.

Mar 26, 2026

Don’t worry, you’ll find the lost scissors when you’ll be searching for your glasses.

Mar 26, 2026

I bought some old lady reading glasses as a lark, a laugh, and now my eyes don’t hurt. This isn’t what I wanted.

Mar 26, 2026

I don’t remember if I took my pills, but I can’t check because I can’t remember where I put my glasses.

Mar 26, 2026

Nicknamed my iPhone Lois Lane because it doesn’t recognize me without my glasses on either.

Mar 26, 2026

“My reading glasses would look good on your nightstand.” -Me, flirting.

Mar 26, 2026

Not wearing glasses anymore, I’ve seen enough.

Mar 25, 2026

I accidentally bought a pair of nose-cancelling headphones and now my glasses keep falling off.

Mar 25, 2026

My husband refused to get glasses. But that was before he brushed his teeth with fake tan.

Mar 25, 2026

I’m not saying Lois Lane is a bad investigative journalist, but my friend Greg didn’t wear glasses to work yesterday and I recognized him by lunch time.

Mar 25, 2026

Folks, please have more respect for people with glasses. Because they pay money to see you.

Mar 25, 2026

I enjoy a glass of wine each night for its health benefits. The other glasses are for my witty comebacks and flawless dance moves.

Mar 25, 2026

Cooking with glasses on is so humiliating. Why did I just get blinded by steam?

Mar 25, 2026

I feel sorry for non-glasses wearers. They’ll never know the joy of cleaning them and suddenly being upgraded to the UHD package.

Mar 25, 2026

I like my women like I like my glasses: thick, transparent, and uneven.

Mar 25, 2026