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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇭🇳 has copied:

It’s completely absurd that Silicon Valley is pushing AI on us before they figured out how to keep fries fresh for longer.

Someone from 🇨🇴 has downloaded:

Having a kid is so fun when you’re childish, like yeah, it’s my turn with the slime, boo.

Someone from 🇰🇮 has viewed:

I need to hire someone to just constantly slap food out of my hand.

Someone from 🇲🇽 has copied:

I bet the kids in Mrs. Doubtfire were surprised when found out their nanny was famous actor Robin Williams the whole time.

Someone from 🇿🇦 has downloaded:

Trying to make sense of other people’s actions will drive you to insanity.

Someone from 🇧🇭 has shared:

If GPT-5 will have ‘Ph.D.-level intelligence’, then GPT-6 will have the intelligence of someone who decided not to get a PhD.

Someone from 🇦🇴 has copied:

The smarter you are, the more important it is for you to figure out how to think less.

Someone from 🇸🇾 has bookmarked:

People would be more motivated to lose weight if the weight they lost went on to someone they didn’t like.

Someone from 🇹🇹 has downloaded:

I hate liars, but what I hate more is when they think I’m an idiot and won’t find out the truth.

Someone from 🇫🇷 has copied:

Elevators frighten me. I take steps to avoid them.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

0 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,269

Funny Quotes Topics

17,387

Funny Quotes Images

15,269

Updated

Dec 31, 2025

Users Online

3,458

Social Media Log 💫

Live now on Messenger:

Every day when I get home, I thank my cats for allowing me to live in their house.

Trending via Instagram:

Dads will insist the Masters is exciting while also napping through it.

Shared recently on Reddit:

I read all your bumper stickers and now we’re both stupid.

Spotted on Instagram:

I can’t wait to go to bed, get terrible sleep, and wake up exhausted with a sore back.

Trending via X:

Sometimes it’s the conversations you have with yourself that take the longest.

Just shared via X:

Oh my God, “unc” means uncool. I thought it meant uncle. Like you’re carrying the energy of someone’s weird uncle.

Making waves on Pinterest:

I don’t know who needs to hear this, but your dog can stay home for the hour you’re at the grocery store or restaurant.

Breaking via Telegram:

Getting a nose ring, so I don’t lose my keys.

Live now on Pinterest:

Mind if I crawl into your DMs and stay there for a while?

Shared recently on Reddit:

I got a raise! On my meds dosage. But still.

Dear Aliens, Now would be a good time. Thanks!

0
Dear Aliens, Now would be a good time. Thanks!
Download image ↓

Commentary:
👽🚀 "Attention all extraterrestrial beings, Earth is in quite a peculiar state at the moment, so your arrival would definitely be a welcomed sight! Think of it as a cosmic rescue mission or a much-needed intervention – we promise to make it worth your while with some intergalactic snacks and a front-row seat to our entertaining human drama. So, dear aliens, what are you waiting for? The show is about to begin! 🌍✨"

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

🎉🥂 New Year Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

97 shares on Facebook this month:

Baby for sale. Refuses to wear shoes.

19 shares on Snapchat this month:

Girls only want one thing, and it’s to be photographed candidly on 35mm film.

94 shares on Messenger this month:

Some people are like “I’m a people pleaser,” and not a single person is pleased with them.

49 shares on Slack this month:

The modern condition is mostly trying to do things on your own that people have historically achieved with a large support network, and wondering why you’re tired all the time.

33 shares on Facebook this month:

I don’t need therapy, I need a bagel with cream cheese.

37 shares on Instagram this month:

God, please — if you don’t want someone to love me, at least make me a millionaire.

100 shares on WhatsApp this month:

I never forget to eat, but I do eat to forget.

64 shares on WhatsApp this month:

Not using emoji while texting is my way to show that I’m serious.

32 shares on Facebook this month:

I love admitting when I’m wrong, because it gives me a break from always being right, like finally.

40 shares on Messenger this month:

You unfollow me because you are afraid of falling in love with me. I know!

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes 💥

14 folks are currently checking 👀

I don’t understand my wardrobe. It’s full, but I don’t have clothes.

25 folks are currently checking 👀

As a sales clerk, you want to shout after some people as they leave the store: “Are you sure you’ve really REALLY touched everything?”

8 folks are currently checking 👀

Does your blood pump that way just for me?

21 folks are currently checking 👀

Spongebob wouldn’t even mess with some of y’all. But he’d hang out with me because my heart is pure, and I like to laugh a lot.

6 folks are currently checking 👀

Mothers will invent chores just to be mad you’re not doing them too.

17 folks are currently checking 👀

Remember when you were a kid, you slept on the couch and without saying anything you found yourself in your bed. Now you sleep in your bed and if you say anything, you end up on the couch.

7 folks are currently checking 👀

We should be able take jets and tanks and stuff whenever we want, we paid for them.

19 folks are currently checking 👀

lol is punctuation and LOL is laugh out loud.

10 folks are currently checking 👀

People shouldn’t be at the grocery store the same time as me. Get out of the way.

23 folks are currently checking 👀

Don’t hate me because I can fall asleep within seconds; hate me because I can sleep through the night without having to get up to go to the bathroom.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

0 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,269

Funny Quotes Topics

17,387

Funny Quotes Images

15,269

Updated

Dec 31, 2025

Users Online

3,336

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇩🇿 has shared:

Are oranges called oranges because they are orange, or is the color orange called orange because an orange is orange?

Someone from 🇧🇳 has bookmarked:

Explaining myself is too much work. Please just judge me.

Someone from 🇳🇪 has bookmarked:

Everyone is all “love is patient” during the wedding, but when there’s a long line for the open bar, not so much.

Someone from 🇨🇺 has downloaded:

Having a blocked nose really makes you appreciate the finer things in life, like breathing normally.

Someone from 🇩🇪 has bookmarked:

Don’t ruin a good sundress by wearing panties.

Someone from 🇭🇹 has copied:

When the devil couldn’t reach me, he made my brain my biggest enemy.

Someone from 🇧🇿 has shared:

That “never again” talk with yourself after a certain experience is always funny.

Someone from 🇸🇷 has downloaded:

I hate when kids scream in public. You don’t have real problems. It should be me screaming.

Someone from 🇧🇳 has bookmarked:

Nobody shoots annoying people into the sun anymore and that’s why there are so many of them left on earth.

Someone from 🇸🇨 has copied:

I wish I was born into wealth so I could have a nice 1-bedroom apartment.

Social Media Log 💫

Going viral on WhatsApp:

The romantic says that there is the right partner for everyone. The realist says: only one person has to choose the wrong one and then it won’t work out for everyone!

Seen just now on Twitch:

Get off the internet and go sniff a flower.

Just landed via TikTok:

They should invent a relationship that doesn’t turn into the worst experience of my entire life.

Just shared via Reddit:

It’s a myth that we only use 10% of our brain, but I definitely know people who use less than that.

Just landed via Telegram:

Thank you, God, for another day. Let’s get this 12-hour screen time.

Just shared via Twitch:

We need to stop telling AI that it’s paintings are bad. That’s how Hitler got started.

Broadcasted on WhatsApp:

I’m going to hell if anybody needs anything.

Freshly posted on Slack:

When you want to feel at your thinnest, walk through Walmart at any time of day.

Making waves on Instagram:

If you have to remind them to give a shit, remind yourself not to.

Just landed via WhatsApp:

My front facing camera got me looking like a failed science project.

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