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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇳🇿 has copied:

Next time you think I am flirting with you, ask yourself if kindness is so rare in your life that you mistake it for desire.

Someone from 🇮🇳 has viewed:

Doctors are always giving me Ibuprofen. Man, give me something I can sell.

Someone from 🇲🇩 has bookmarked:

Sure, I could get off the couch today, but then what?

Someone from 🇰🇼 has copied:

Moving is legitimately one of the worst human experiences.

Someone from 🇰🇲 has shared:

Of course I talk to myself. Sometimes I need expert advice.

Someone from 🇼🇸 has bookmarked:

We’re living in increasingly unfergalicious times.

Someone from 🇰🇼 has copied:

I’m at the age when riding around town, I say, “When did they build that?”

Someone from 🇸🇴 has copied:

I’m only drinking a lot of beer tonight because I need the room in the fridge.

Someone from 🇬🇲 has downloaded:

“It’s Raining Men” and “Let the Bodies Hit the Floor” are the same song from different points of view.

Someone from 🇳🇦 has copied:

Picking up the hem of my baggy pants to walk up the stairs like it’s a ballgown.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

0 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,269

Funny Quotes Topics

17,387

Funny Quotes Images

15,269

Updated

Dec 31, 2025

Users Online

3,455

Social Media Log 💫

Going viral on WeChat:

Stirring up shit at the wedding by going up to random people and saying “I think it’s so brave that you’re here”.

Trending via YouTube:

The only time your man will surprise you is when you specifically tell him what you want.

Trending via YouTube:

These days I just accept the website cookies without any protest. Website is like Grandma, I’m not gonna fight with you.

Just landed via Facebook:

My son got braces today. Yay, he’s not going to be a teenage dad.

Freshly posted on YouTube:

Sometimes, I feel like my brain is still running on Windows 95.

Trending via YouTube:

Graduation advice: Stay cool. Don’t be a fool. Avoid being a tool.

Spotted on TikTok:

Just did a seductive hair flip and an onion ring flew out.

Trending via Facebook:

Contrary to what we currently believe, we don’t choose afternoon naps. Afternoon naps choose us.

Making waves on Messenger:

Nothing makes you regret an outfit choice faster than when you see teens looking at you and whispering.

Going bananas on WhatsApp:

AI could never replace me, you can’t put this much self-loathing into a machine.

Dear Aliens, Now would be a good time. Thanks!

0
Dear Aliens, Now would be a good time. Thanks!
Download image ↓

Commentary:
👽🚀 "Attention all extraterrestrial beings, Earth is in quite a peculiar state at the moment, so your arrival would definitely be a welcomed sight! Think of it as a cosmic rescue mission or a much-needed intervention – we promise to make it worth your while with some intergalactic snacks and a front-row seat to our entertaining human drama. So, dear aliens, what are you waiting for? The show is about to begin! 🌍✨"

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

🎉🥂 New Year Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

69 shares on WeChat this month:

I get unreasonably happy when a YouTube video has subtitles that aren’t auto-generated.

89 shares on YouTube this month:

There will always be miserable people inviting you to their misery.

37 shares on WeChat this month:

I don’t want to alarm anyone, but there’s only 365 shopping days left until Christmas.

96 shares on Threads this month:

So heartbreaking to do laundry and realize you can’t wash the clothes you’re literally wearing right now… you will never have a completely fresh start.

44 shares on TikTok this month:

Why fall in love when you can fall asleep?

96 shares on Threads this month:

That depressing moment when you start your car to go to work and it doesn’t explode.

36 shares on Facebook this month:

We have now entered the void (25th December to 31st December).

55 shares on WhatsApp this month:

Reading a book and coming across a character’s name that you don’t know how to pronounce, so for the rest of the book, every time you see it, your brain just goes ‘skdjfkskakfk.’

31 shares on Messenger this month:

Do you laugh at your own jokes, or are you emotionally stable?

76 shares on Reddit this month:

“You never reply to messages.” I am just one person, okay? I am understaffed.

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes 💥

17 folks are currently checking 👀

Not to brag, but my date returned after using the restroom.

12 folks are currently checking 👀

You see how in cartoons, when they’re hungry, their friends start looking like a chicken leg? That’s how ovulation feels.

15 folks are currently checking 👀

I just borrowed some money from a cash app, now I’m about to uninstall it.

8 folks are currently checking 👀

It’s healthy to be a little insane sometimes.

22 folks are currently checking 👀

I don’t think human beings were built to know everything going on in the world all the time.

7 folks are currently checking 👀

Job applications be like “how did you hear about us?”. Bro why, was it a secret?

8 folks are currently checking 👀

My dream is to buy a horse and race it. The horse will probably beat me but it’ll still be fun.

5 folks are currently checking 👀

I want the dreams to chase me for once.

9 folks are currently checking 👀

If I shook my head at every stupid thing I saw, I’d have permanent whiplash.

17 folks are currently checking 👀

Interpretive dance is the best way to answer stupid questions.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

0 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,269

Funny Quotes Topics

17,387

Funny Quotes Images

15,269

Updated

Dec 31, 2025

Users Online

3,499

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇬🇭 has shared:

Buying books and reading them are actually two entirely different hobbies.

Someone from 🇵🇼 has viewed:

It’s almost impossible to talk to a girl without flirting with her.

Someone from 🇫🇮 has viewed:

Jennifer Lopez and Ben Affleck got engaged, broke up, married other people, had children, reunited, got married, broke up again, and I’ve been single that whole time.

Someone from 🇺🇿 has viewed:

I touched grass today, and I’m still like this. Please advise.

Someone from 🇳🇴 has bookmarked:

Trying to bribe Monday with coffee to get it to act like a Friday.

Someone from 🇨🇫 has copied:

Just remember, you don’t need a special reason to buy a cake.

Someone from 🇱🇾 has viewed:

Being lazy has its advantages. I still have most of my winter fat from last year.

Someone from 🇭🇷 has downloaded:

My ex had this fetish where he would dress up in his own clothes and act like an idiot.

Someone from 🇲🇺 has copied:

In a parallel universe, Mariah Carey is doing her shopping and is sick of hearing me on every store’s speaker system.

Someone from 🇳🇷 has copied:

I look so pretty today. I should go for a walk and let the people enjoy this.

Social Media Log 💫

Going bananas on LinkedIn:

I will never give another woman my heart until I see how she acts when a bee flies at her.

Making waves on Discord:

Asking my boyfriend if he would still date me if an alien had done experiments on me that killed me but, as a gesture of kindness, replaced me with a perfect replica, and he was the only one who knew.

Going bananas on Discord:

I love when people start getting filler, and instead of looking younger, it’s just like okay, your face is getting really, really big in all directions.

Seen just now on X:

Never skip the footnotes – it’s here you find out who made the author angry enough to write the article.

Seen just now on Discord:

Our parents just don’t know how far we rode them bikes when we were younger.

Spreading quickly via Instagram:

Billion dollar technology idea: A printer that works.

Spotted on TikTok:

Men are only nice for 3 weeks, then surprise you with another personality.

Trending via LinkedIn:

You get to a certain age and realize stretching is non-negotiable.

Going viral on Threads:

Please do not ask a bookworm if they are going to finish the books they have before buying more. It is very offensive in our culture.

Trending via Twitch:

It’s amazing, when it’s your birthday you really feel the love from family, friends, lovers, former dentists, yoga studios and various smootheries.

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