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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇪🇪 has copied:

Me, one week before the new year: Not to brag, but I have enough money to live comfortably for the rest of the year.

Someone from 🇱🇨 has copied:

I should be able to eat one huge meal a month, like a snake. This every-few-hours shit sucks.

Someone from 🇸🇷 has copied:

Stop blaming everyone for all of your problems. Pick one person you hate, and blame them for everything.

Someone from 🇨🇭 has viewed:

I’m at that point on a Monday where no.

Someone from 🇦🇪 has viewed:

Woke up feeling not too shabby for a 60-year-old. The only problem is I’m still in my 40s.

Someone from 🇿🇲 has viewed:

Sorry for not keeping in touch. I literally have nothing to say.

Someone from 🇱🇸 has viewed:

I would really like to meet this “other candidate” who keeps taking all the jobs I’ve been applying to.

Someone from 🇲🇹 has shared:

In retrospect, I guess “one drunken night of stupidity” isn’t the best response when a child asks you where babies come from.

Someone from 🇰🇼 has shared:

I don’t wanna start the year with any negativity so if you and I have had issues in the past, apologize to me immediately.

Someone from 🇳🇿 has bookmarked:

Anyone who thinks being a pessimist isn’t any fun fails to appreciate the joy of saying, ‘I told you so.’

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

234 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,503

Funny Quotes Topics

17,569

Funny Quotes Images

15,503

Jan 6, 2026

3,286

Social Media Log 💫

Freshly posted on X:

I’ll rewind a movie, get on my phone, and miss the same part.

Making waves on Telegram:

“You’ve changed.” Yeah, I watched a new movie.

Live now on TikTok:

May he drop his phone on his face while he’s texting other girls.

Making waves on Slack:

Marriage is between two people: one person who is on the verge of sleep and one person who is asking if the front door is locked.

Making waves on Reddit:

Roses are red, violets are blue. When I listen to rock music, my neighbors do too.

Going bananas on YouTube:

Training a cat is very easy. After a few days, you do what she wants.

Going bananas on YouTube:

There should be a tented fingers emoji. For when you’re feeling ruminative.

Freshly posted on Twitch:

Bro, you’re not allowed anymore to have your tongue drop out of your mouth and form a stair case when you see my wife.

Going viral on LinkedIn:

I will never forget how to spell bananas, thanks to Gwen Stefani.

Just landed via WeChat:

Signing all emails with BOOM SHAKALAKA today.

Did the people you had a crush on always like you back or are you funny?

2 months ago

0

Did the people you had a crush on always like you back or are you funny?

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Commentary:
Well, finding someone who likes you back is like hitting the jackpot in love! 🎰 So if your crush always likes you back, either you have some magical charm or they really have excellent taste… or maybe you're just really funny! 😂 Either way, keep spreading those good vibes and witty jokes! Who knows, you might just charm your way into their heart with a punchline. 💘

always, back, crush, humor, people, relationships

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

“We should get tickets” is as close to a rock concert as I get these days.

0

2 months ago

activity, changes, close, concert, days, fun, humor, i, life, life changes, music, nostalgia, should, tickets
What if aliens watch our movies about aliens and then invade accordingly in hopes of fitting in with our culture?

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2 months ago

aliens, culture, fiction, fitting, hopes, humor, imagination, invasion, movy, parody, science, science fiction, watch
A good relationship is when she is by your side during bad times to tell you that none of this would have happened if you had just listened to her.

0

2 months ago

advice, bad, bad time, good, humor, just, listening, none, partner, relationship, sarcasm, side, support, tell, time, times
I thought I wanted a career. Turns out all I wanted is paychecks.

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2 months ago

ambition, career, humor, i, job, money, paycheck, thought, work
Objection your honor, if the prosecutor doesn’t have anything nice to say then he shouldn’t say anything at all.

0

2 months ago

anything, court, courtroom, honor, humor, nice, objection, prosecutor, say, wit
Sometimes I have to remind myself to put down my iPhone, go outside, and judge people in person.

0

2 months ago

addiction, detox, digital, digital detox, humor, i, interaction, iPhone, judge, judgment, myself, outdoor, outside, people, person, put, remind, self-reminder, social, social interaction, sometimes, technology, technology addiction

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

62 shares on Threads this month:

My favorite thing to do when I see people I know in public is to pretend I didn’t.

18 shares on LinkedIn this month:

Not to brag, but I’m on hold and my call is important to them.

69 shares on WhatsApp this month:

Me, whenever I can easily do some yoga pose, “This can’t be right.”

56 shares on Pinterest this month:

The light at the end of the tunnel is only the headlight of the oncoming train.

72 shares on Threads this month:

Dear Santa, I’ve been good all year. Most of the time. Once in a while. Never mind, I’ll buy my own stuff.

65 shares on Facebook this month:

They should make the last foot of dental floss red so you know when you’re about to run out.

51 shares on Twitch this month:

Kind of miraculous how much love can be summoned and how much your day can be improved by just looking at an animal and saying stuff in a weird voice.

90 shares on Telegram this month:

Petition to make check-in at hotels 11am and check-out 3pm, not the other way around. Like, WTF?

21 shares on Instagram this month:

You didn’t let me know you got home safely so you better at least be injured or I’m gonna be pissed.

99 shares on Twitch this month:

Cool things happen when you start hanging out outside a lot. Animals just appear and stuff.

Trending Topics 📁

Hot Jokes 💥

23 folks are currently checking 👀

Is ‘ugh’ an emotion? Because I fell it all the time.

13 folks are currently checking 👀

Stop worrying about being weird and start being weirder.

23 folks are currently checking 👀

Having a blocked nose really makes you appreciate the finer things in life, like breathing normally.

22 folks are currently checking 👀

One day you’re 18 eating pizza for every lunch, then suddenly you’re 30 and eating salad with celery and kale juice.

8 folks are currently checking 👀

If you love someone be brave enough to tell them. Otherwise be brave enough to watch them dating someone else.

24 folks are currently checking 👀

I wonder how biology explains that pain in your chest you get when you found out your partner cheated on you.

7 folks are currently checking 👀

Rap fell off when literacy stopped being a requirement.

24 folks are currently checking 👀

Unknown numbers will call me, then expect me to talk first. Welcome to the breathing competition.

24 folks are currently checking 👀

Why do you always wanna change your life before you fall asleep, then in the morning you wake up like ‘Nah!’

7 folks are currently checking 👀

I found out why my computer keeps freezing. Apparently, I’ve got too many windows open.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

234 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,503

Funny Quotes Topics

17,569

Funny Quotes Images

15,503

Updated

Jan 6, 2026

Users Online

3,469

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇪🇷 has viewed:

Human interaction is a great way to learn all the new swear words your subconscious mind has come up with in the lab.

Someone from 🇰🇪 has shared:

It’s interesting growing up and discovering that most adults are not that clever. I had my suspicions as a kid but I didn’t think the situation was this dire.

Someone from 🇵🇼 has bookmarked:

There are 8 billion people in the world and I only have 3 friends, and one is annoying.

Someone from 🇰🇼 has viewed:

Clearing her mind with a brisk walk along the foggy shoreline.

Someone from 🇪🇸 has shared:

I wonder how biology explains that pain in your chest you get when you found out your partner cheated on you.

Someone from 🇬🇧 has bookmarked:

Let’s ruin each other’s sleep schedules and call it romance.

Someone from 🇵🇾 has shared:

My husband keeps borrowing and losing my tweezers, so I’m naming this chin hair after him.

Someone from 🇬🇼 has copied:

One of the most embarrassing things in the world: walking downhill.

Someone from 🇻🇳 has shared:

I don’t mean to brag, but I put together a puzzle in 1 day and the box said 2-4 years.

Someone from 🇧🇬 has downloaded:

Toddlers: I’ve licked everything so everything is mine now.

Social Media Log 💫

Making waves on Threads:

My best friend is married and buying a house. I ate popcorn for dinner.

Trending via YouTube:

Going out for two days in a row should really be considered an extreme sport.

Making waves on WeChat:

The sole purpose of some household items is to make it impossible for you to open the damn drawer.

Trending via Snapchat:

The main problem is that far too many people have far too easy access to podcast equipment.

Making waves on WeChat:

I think it’s sad that getting married is one of the only ways to guarantee somebody will be forced to make a speech about how great you are.

Seen just now on Facebook:

For my birthday, I want everyone to delete whatever old version of me they have in their head— it expired.

Just shared via Pinterest:

Bacon should be free for anyone having a bad day.

Just shared via WhatsApp:

The problem is that younger me didn’t account for the fact that there’d be an older me.

Trending via LinkedIn:

I ate my exam paper. Which means that pretty soon I’ll pass the test.

Spotted on Slack:

It’s not a Sunday unless you completely waste it and then feel sad around 8 p.m.

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