Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇰🇪 has shared:

Therapy isn’t enough. I need to be electrocuted and get my memory erased.

Someone from 🇨🇻 has viewed:

Getting a boner because the Lego instructions are telling me what to do.

Someone from 🇬🇹 has bookmarked:

People just don’t stop, collaborate, and listen like they used to.

Someone from 🇧🇹 has downloaded:

Hey (with the intention of making your fries my fries).

Someone from 🇬🇧 has viewed:

I love admitting when I’m wrong, because it gives me a break from always being right, like finally.

Someone from 🇴🇲 has viewed:

I’m a “I have an appointment later, so I can’t do anything else for the rest of the day” kind of person.

Someone from 🇩🇰 has downloaded:

AirPods are hungry for earwax. It’s your job to feed them.

Someone from 🇸🇲 has copied:

Babe, would it kill you to meow back?

Someone from 🇲🇦 has copied:

Fun fact: The confetti you’ll see in Times Square tonight was made from one CVS receipt.

Someone from 🇦🇺 has downloaded:

Finding a person to make eye contact with during stupid meetings is essential to survival in the workplace.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

105 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,374

Funny Quotes Topics

17,485

Funny Quotes Images

15,374

Updated

Jan 2, 2026

Users Online

3,351

Social Media Log 💫

Going viral on Threads:

Cats are the best authoritarians. You will do their bidding, and you will like it.

Just shared via X:

I had no idea being an adult would involve so many lotions.

Spotted on Slack:

Having to pee really puts things into perspective. Like, OK, none of this matters.

Breaking via Snapchat:

“There’s a particular type of insufferability that rich people from poor countries have, that I don’t yet fully know how to verbalize.”

Live now on TikTok:

Remembering my youth, and a time where I could breath out of more than one nostril at once.

Seen just now on X:

You used to calm me on my cell phone!

Spotted on Pinterest:

According to a new study, people who often trail off in the middle of a sentence are 30% more likely to

Trending via Reddit:

If Liverpool play Real Madrid right now, both teams will lose the game.

Just landed via Threads:

When kids try to guess your age it will either be completely flattering or utterly devastating, but never correct.

Spreading quickly via Slack:

No parenting book prepares you for the stank of your kid’s soccer bag.

Diet Coke is just a fridge cigarette.

2 months ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
Who needs a smoke break when you've got a cold can of fizz? 🍹😆🚬

cigarette, coke, diet, Diet Coke, dieting, fridge, humor, just, sarcasm, soda

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

If your girlfriend doesn’t go a little psycho on you from time to time, then she’s not in love with you, sweetie.

0

3 months ago

affection, girlfriend, humor, little, love, psycho, relationship, time
Noam Chomsky is a crazy name, like you sound hungry as f***.

0

2 months ago

chomsky, crazy, crazy name, humor, hungry, name, noam, Noam Chomsky, sound
Who called it a shopaholic and not a boughtanist?

0

2 months ago

addiction, boughtanist, humor, shopaholic, shopping, wordplay
The modern condition is mostly trying to do things on your own that people have historically achieved with a large support network, and wondering why you’re tired all the time.

0

3 weeks ago

condition, connection, exhaustion, fatigue, humor, independence, large, life, modern, modern life, network, observation, own, people, self-reliance, social, social connection, support, support network, things, time, tired, trying, why, wondering
Life is pleasant. Death is peaceful. It’s the transition that’s troublesome.

0

2 months ago

death, humor, life, peace, peaceful, philosophy, pleasant, transition, trouble
I just finally discovered what’s wrong with my brain: on the left side there is nothing right and on the right side, there is nothing left.

0

2 months ago

brain, discovery, humor, i, just, left, left side, mental, mental state, nothing, right, right side, self-awareness, side, state

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

71 shares on WhatsApp this month:

Half of my problems are because I said “sure” instead of “no.”

39 shares on Reddit this month:

Lord of the Rings is a story about a brave little Hobbit on a mission to destroy a ring and save the world, and his annoying friend Frodo.

97 shares on Twitch this month:

And for my next trick, I’m going to miss you in a million unspoken ways.

100 shares on Pinterest this month:

I once broke up with a guy because he ate half my french fries, and when I get really lonely, I still think about those french fries.

41 shares on X this month:

Me, adding fuel to the fire: I’m just here to help.

73 shares on Slack this month:

My sneeze is the reason people in the middle ages believed sneezing was caused by demon possession.

16 shares on YouTube this month:

I look so pretty today. I should go for a walk and let the people enjoy this.

40 shares on Threads this month:

I’m not gonna have a bad day. The day is gonna have a bad me.

59 shares on Twitch this month:

I like people who make eye contact like they know something I don’t.

48 shares on Messenger this month:

If I go missing and you put my weight on that poster, I swear I’m not coming back.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇦🇸 has viewed:

You know you’re over 50 when you have “upstairs Ibuprofen” and “downstairs Ibuprofen”.

Someone from 🇪🇬 has bookmarked:

Socks teach us that being made for each other does not mean being together.

Someone from 🇹🇯 has viewed:

Me: “I should treat myself to something.” My bank account: “Dream on.”

Someone from 🇬🇾 has downloaded:

Took the road less travelled after buying the sat nav less expensive.

Someone from 🇨🇩 has viewed:

Handing the bus driver a $50 bill and telling him “Just drive”.

Someone from 🇲🇩 has viewed:

Chuck Norris can kill two stones with one bird.

Someone from 🇹🇻 has downloaded:

The worst part of a fender bender is having to get out of your car and meet a new person.

Someone from 🇧🇾 has shared:

Parents may forget many things, but they never forget who brought the noisy toys into the house.

Someone from 🇰🇭 has shared:

Men be like, “I’m sexually attracted to you as a friend.

Someone from 🇧🇭 has bookmarked:

Watching 2+ movies a day to prevent a thought from happening.

Social Media Log 💫

Spreading quickly via Facebook:

This can’t be the same body that used to be able to pull all nighters.

Freshly posted on Instagram:

Spiders have the whole world to explore but still try to come up in my house.

Breaking via WeChat:

Me drinking green tea: this is going to fix everything.

Breaking via Instagram:

I love single sign-on because you only have to sign on once, 8 times a day.

Seen just now on Twitch:

Maybe the grass is greener over there because you’re not over there messing it up.

Making waves on Threads:

In every imagination I have pictured myself in, I’m never poor.

Just landed via X:

I should’ve been a crow. They get to fly around looking goth as hell and seeking retribution. Instead, I have to go to an office and work on my ‘people skills.’

Just shared via WeChat:

I hate having a ton of anxiety and no energy. It’s like having a tank full of gas and no engine.

Breaking via Telegram:

Acceptance truly begins when you ask Alexa to play classic rock and she plays a song that came out when you were in high school.

Shared recently on Snapchat:

So, technically, Moses is the first man to download files from the cloud using a tablet.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

Diet Coke is just a fridge cigarette.

Related Funny Quotes 🤝

If your girlfriend doesn’t go a little psycho on you from time to time, then she’s not in love with you, sweetie.

Noam Chomsky is a crazy name, like you sound hungry as f***.

Who called it a shopaholic and not a boughtanist?

The modern condition is mostly trying to do things on your own that people have historically achieved with a large support network, and wondering why you’re tired all the time.

Life is pleasant. Death is peaceful. It’s the transition that’s troublesome.

I just finally discovered what’s wrong with my brain: on the left side there is nothing right and on the right side, there is nothing left.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨