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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇹🇲 has viewed:

In your 20s, you’ll meet a short man. It’s very important you jump over him.

Someone from 🇸🇮 has bookmarked:

Be nice to your children’s teachers. Especially elementary ones, cause kids have loose lips and that teacher has all the dirt on you.

Someone from 🇬🇲 has downloaded:

I ate my exam paper. Which means that pretty soon I’ll pass the test.

Someone from 🇳🇮 has copied:

Imagine hating me, and I’m just over here playing with my arm fat.

Someone from 🇦🇷 has bookmarked:

Your pronouns should be get/help.

Someone from 🇧🇾 has copied:

Seeing my kids getting along, laughing, and peacefully playing together is the best minute of my day.

Someone from 🇸🇿 has bookmarked:

Wake me when AI does housework.

Someone from 🇹🇷 has bookmarked:

“I don’t care!”, he posted, again.

Someone from 🇫🇮 has copied:

Adding “scroll for two hours” to my To-Do list, so I won’t do it.

Someone from 🇧🇹 has downloaded:

I’m chronically online in a different and more sophisticated way than you are.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Jan 31, 2026

3,415

Social Media Log 💫

Freshly posted on Snapchat:

I hate it when people threaten to come over. Now I’ve got to do 2 years of housework in 30 minutes.

Trending via WeChat:

Your nose is in the middle of your face because it is the scenter.

Going bananas on Facebook:

The homie who’s ultimately just a pawn in your grand scheme.

Going viral on Instagram:

Why spend like $300 Dollars on a pair of shoes? Do you know how many chicken nuggets you can buy with that money?

Making waves on WeChat:

I’ve been closer to death than a stable relationship.

Going bananas on YouTube:

Sorry I was late, I was frantically applying to other jobs.

Seen just now on TikTok:

I’m multitasking: I can listen, ignore and forget at the same time.

Seen just now on X:

No one declines an incoming call faster than a 3-year-old watching YouTube.

Spreading quickly via Twitch:

Some should judge a little less and look at their lives a little more.

Trending via Slack:

If she forgives you, then 30 minutes later comes back mad again: that means she told her friends in her group chat, and the board of directors did not agree.

Doing some skin care routine but my skin doesn’t care.

18 hours ago

Humorous text about skincare apathy, playful and relatable vibe.

Download image ↓

Commentary:
Sounds like your skin is the ultimate rebel, totally unfazed by your diligent skincare routine! 😂🤷‍♀️ Who needs soft skin when you can have an attitude, right? Keep pampering that sassy skin of yours, maybe one day it'll decide to play nice! 😜✨ #SkincareStruggles

care, doing, humor, irony, routine, self, self-care, skin, skin care

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

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Social Media Stars ⭐

77 shares on Instagram this month:

Every time I see a dog with its head out a window, I know it’s having a better day than I am.

48 shares on Discord this month:

Every night at bedtime I do one small ritual: six hours on my cell phone.

96 shares on Messenger this month:

Sure the Lego botanical sets are great but dusting them is another story.

67 shares on LinkedIn this month:

Can I come over and look at your Hot Wheels collection?

15 shares on Threads this month:

Be the nonsense you wish to see in the world.

32 shares on Instagram this month:

I composed this post in a way that only the sexy can read it, so congratulations.

10 shares on Twitch this month:

I don’t always push on pull doors but when I do, I do it two or three times to confirm how dumb I really am.

79 shares on Facebook this month:

Nothing is impossible, except for my daughter returning home with the hat and gloves she wore to school this morning.

92 shares on YouTube this month:

Hey boy, are you my washing machine? Because neither of you know how long 10 minutes last.

90 shares on X this month:

Being the introverted hopeless romantic with a high sex drive is a curse.

Trending Topics 📁

Hot Jokes 💥

20 folks are currently checking 👀

They are mad because you took that knife out of your back and used it to cut ties.

13 folks are currently checking 👀

My superpower? Staying calm when talking to idiots.

12 folks are currently checking 👀

Sorry, can’t. The pears I bought a couple days ago have ripened.

12 folks are currently checking 👀

Men will ask you zero questions about yourself, and then say they never met anybody like you.

21 folks are currently checking 👀

A 12 step program but it’s just me getting off the couch.

8 folks are currently checking 👀

There are so many people going to hell. I’m thinking of investing in some property there.

7 folks are currently checking 👀

Every time I see a couple riding a tandem bike, I try to figure out which one of them is pissed about it.

10 folks are currently checking 👀

Being social sucks all my energy.

17 folks are currently checking 👀

Fun prank: make people study for 16 years, and then don’t give them jobs.

9 folks are currently checking 👀

Apparently there is a bird fight club who holds their meetings outside my window at about 5am.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Jan 31, 2026

Users Online

3,738

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇹🇿 has copied:

The funniest thing about 28 Years Later is that the rest of the world just went “Uhm, anyway!” and carried on as normal, while the Brits live in hell.

Someone from 🇱🇸 has downloaded:

Two reasons you never date at work: 1. HR frowns upon it. 2. Your partner gets super pissed.

Someone from 🇰🇼 has shared:

Is it cool if I come into your life and just never leave, like a stray cat?

Someone from 🇬🇦 has viewed:

What’s a polite way to tell someone you hope they get mauled by a bear?

Someone from 🇦🇴 has viewed:

I liked the version of you from the other dimension better.

Someone from 🇩🇪 has copied:

Sorry for what I said when I was drunk. I meant every word.

Someone from 🇹🇴 has bookmarked:

Senility is the pits. Spent an hour driving around the mall parking lot looking for my car.

Someone from 🇮🇹 has shared:

Half princess, half menace.

Someone from 🇬🇪 has downloaded:

Babe, is everything OK? You’ve barely accomplished anything at all in your entire life.

Someone from 🇦🇿 has viewed:

I’m only here to test your patience, but like, in a sexy way.

Social Media Log 💫

Trending via Slack:

Insomnia is embarrassing. How can I be so bad at something that literally involves doing nothing?

Just shared via Instagram:

I hope Instagram is still active during the apocalypse, so the zombies can post pics of whose brains they’re currently eating.

Spotted on Pinterest:

Pretending you don’t notice people staring at you is a skill.

Broadcasted on TikTok:

A house doesn’t have to be haunted to scare me, I’ve seen the listing prices.

Trending via WeChat:

I refuse to go to a blood bank. I’m not taking your blood money.

Shared recently on WhatsApp:

Traffic is the fault of the guy immediately in front of you.

Freshly posted on Instagram:

I’m doing a challenge called ‘November’ — it’s where I just try to get through every day in the month of November.

Spotted on YouTube:

It’s only a family vacation if you think “We’re never doing this again” at least once.

Freshly posted on TikTok:

I’m writing a fairytale about a printer that just works.

Spotted on Instagram:

(Talking to myself) I just don’t know what to tell you.

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