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10,000+ funny quotes

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Someone from 🇰🇷 has viewed:

Yesterday, I went to the grocery store, and I managed to come home without any junk food. Now, I’m mad that we don’t have any junk food.

Someone from 🇳🇴 has copied:

I may have bags under my eyes, but they’re Versace.

Someone from 🇵🇰 has downloaded:

I’m gonna start cursing people out but with biblical phrases like I hope your crops wither and bear no fruit and the ravens eat your mustard seeds.

Someone from 🇲🇾 has bookmarked:

I like liking Instagram stories because I like pressing buttons.

Someone from 🇿🇲 has downloaded:

My lip gloss used to be poppin’, now it’s my knees.

Someone from 🇵🇾 has bookmarked:

My recliner and I go way back.

Someone from 🇺🇦 has shared:

One day you’re young and fun and the next you’re excited about your organized fridge.

Someone from 🇲🇳 has copied:

Be the nonsense you wish to see in the world.

Someone from 🇪🇨 has bookmarked:

I bought some coconut shampoo today. I got halfway home before I thought, “I don’t even have a coconut!”

Someone from 🇺🇬 has copied:

Every time I see an odd screw on the floor somewhere, I think one of my loose ones has finally come out.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

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730 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,892

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13,871

Funny Quotes Images

10,892

Updated

14 minutes ago

Users Online

3,417

Social Media Log 💫

Just shared via Slack:

Women do not snore. The sound they make at night is just the rewinding of the vocal cords.

Breaking via TikTok:

Let the example of my fluke success guide nearly all of you to crushing disappointment.

Freshly posted on Facebook:

I’m cosplaying as a functional adult again.

Trending via Instagram:

“How would you describe yourself.” Me: I absolutely would not.

Reported on Pinterest:

Everyone hates math until their paycheck looks funny, then all of a sudden you know trigonometry.

Just shared via WeChat:

Still can’t believe America has a federal holiday to celebrate the hit movie Independence Day.

Freshly posted on LinkedIn:

They should invent a rest for the wicked.

Shared recently on TikTok:

The great thing about having pet insurance is that while our dachshund is at the vets, they’ve given us a courtesy poodle to hang out with.

Spotted on TikTok:

Some people avoid bacon for the sake of religion. I avoid religion for the sake of bacon.

Going viral on Pinterest:

My friend and I had a running joke. She said, “Let’s do a marathon,” and then we both laughed.

Home » Funny Routine Quotes

126 Funny routine quotes

Funny routine quotes capture the humor in our daily rituals, from the morning struggle to the evening collapse! 😅⏰ Whether it’s snoozing your alarm five times, getting stuck in the same old habits, or realizing your “productive day” ended with a nap, these quotes remind us that routines might be predictable, but they’re never short on comedy. Because let’s face it — routines are just the universe’s way of keeping things entertaining! 😂📅☕

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For even more funny routine quotes, check out the next page, if available 👇

All funny routine quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

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activity communication day food fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media need people procrastination relationship sarcasm social someone technology think time want work

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

730 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,892

Funny Quotes Topics

13,871

Funny Quotes Images

10,892

Updated

14 minutes ago

Users Online

3,432

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇲🇱 has viewed:

I love when my brain cells kiss and I have an idea.

Someone from 🇵🇪 has copied:

I smoke weed for my mental health and your personal safety.

Someone from 🇨🇱 has downloaded:

Hear me out. What if we don’t elect another president, and we all just promise to be really good?

Someone from 🇲🇲 has downloaded:

I told my GPS I needed direction in life, and now it insists on recalculating every hour.

Someone from 🇮🇪 has bookmarked:

Politics top tip: Gain people’s trust by telling them that everyone is lying to them.

Someone from 🇹🇳 has bookmarked:

The secret to work life balance is generational wealth.

Someone from 🇰🇷 has bookmarked:

I threw a ball for my dog. May be a little extravagant, but he looks great in a tux.

Someone from 🇨🇿 has viewed:

Jesus turned water into wine. I turn food into fertilizer. We are not the same.

Someone from 🇩🇴 has shared:

Most puns make me feel numb, but math puns make me feel number.

Someone from 🇰🇿 has viewed:

Overheard a baby crying in the grocery store the other day so I went over and joined him. I get it, little dude, life is hard.

Social Media Log 💫

Going viral on Twitch:

Yeah, I’ll get up soon, I just need to look at the internet first. Yes, the whole thing.

Reported on Reddit:

I’m not here to offend anyone; I’m here to offend everyone.

Trending via Twitch:

My son got braces today. Yay, he’s not going to be a teenage dad.

Freshly posted on TikTok:

It goes like this: You are born and then you basically do almost everything wrong. Then you die.

Spotted on Pinterest:

People that never want to leave the house unite! Separately at our own homes.

Going viral on Discord:

My immune system told me it’s a lover not a fighter.

Just shared via Twitch:

My burning question is who thought a two day weekend would suffice the human body.

Just shared via Snapchat:

It’s so much easier to suggest solutions when you don’t know too much about the problem.

Just landed via Discord:

When they know you know they did you dirty, they stay gone. And that’s the best thing.

Seen just now on Threads:

Bro, you’re not allowed anymore to have your tongue drop out of your mouth and form a stair case when you see my wife.

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