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When your email game is so strong, you almost ask it for an autograph 📧🔥😂
179 Funny self quotes
No need to check for monsters under the bed. They are inside you.
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Guess that explains why I'm grumpy before coffee! 😂👹☕️
I’m chronically online, but in a way that is beneficial both to humanity and myself.
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Saving the world one meme at a time 😂🌍💻
Every day is literally just me distracting myself until the next day.
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Sounds like my plan to procrastinate on procrastination! 🎯😄
Some people identify as funnier than they actually are.
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Sounds like someone needs to update their comedy passport! 😂🤪🤣
Being alone is my favourite way of being.
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Love having solo parties; the guest list is always perfect! 🎉😄🛋️
Bob Ross could paint a forest in 10 minutes. I’ve been ‘working on myself’ for years, and I’m still unfinished.
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Sounds like Bob Ross had his happy little trees figured out faster than I can find my own zen forest! 🌳🖌️🤔
I could have been somebody if I’d been somebody else.
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When I look in the mirror and see my evil twin running the show 😂🤷♂️ #AlternateUniverse 🌌
My favorite animal is me when my feelings are hurt.
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Sounds like the perfect time to join the endangered species list with some ice cream and a cozy blanket! 🐢🍦🛋️
My morning routine consists of talking myself out of quitting my job.
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Trying to convince my alarm clock that I have a promising future as a professional napper 😴⏰😂